It started with a kiss
by BeethovenRIP
Summary: This is one crazy shift Dixie thought to herself, had that really happened? She thinks she has got her head around this, but a blast from the past looks set to change everything for them. A Jeff / Dixie fic with some other characters. All reviews welcome, good or bad, any ideas welcome as well. Please read and review. NOW COMPLETED!
1. Chapter 1

**A / N: I am still working on 'You really are in trouble', but I had a thought to another story as I was watching old episodes of Casualty on YOUTUBE. I would like to say thank you to GirlWednesday for being on the other end of a PM. This is a Jeff / Dixie story (I do love these two) with a couple of new characters thrown in. Hope you enjoy. **

'Whoa now that was worth £2' said Noel as his kiss with Dr Hanna ended. Zoe, on the other hand, wasn't so sure 'I think I need a cigarette' she said in response wiping her mouth.

'Right, who is next,' asked Mel as she scanned the ED.

Mel had only been a nurse at Holby for 2 weeks but had already settled in well. She had proved popular with Lloyd and Scarlett with Tess and Charlie loving her enthusiasm and professionalism to patients. She would like to consider herself as outgoing and confident not really caring what other people said about her. Nothing seemed to faze her until her Mum died of Breast Cancer two years ago, that is what made her want to be a nurse, and here she was.

Today was the anniversary of her death and Mel had persuaded Tess to allow her to hold a sponsored event in the ED to raise money for Cancer Research. Tess had agreed on the understanding that work was not affected and patients would come first. So, here she was stood in the staff room with a bucket and willing members of the ED to take part.

'What's going on here then?' said Jeff as he wheeled the trolley out of Resus stopping at the door noticing a crowd.

'We are raising money for cancer research' Scarlett replied as Jeff left the trolley outside and wondered in.

'Yeah, pay £2 and you can kiss whoever you want, however you want'. Lloyd returned almost instantly. 'Why don't you have a go Jeff?'

'Narr, not me, I am a happily married man'.

'Oh go on', Mel intercepted, 'I am sure your wife will not mind, after all, it is not as if she will ever find out!'

'She will find out, trust me' Jeff said giving some of his colleagues a wink. They knew exactly who Jeff was married to and they knew exactly what she was like. They also knew about their background and although they did not understand the relationship Jeff and Dixie had, they couldn't fault the fact that they cared deeply for one another.

'C'mon, £2 for Cancer Research and you can kiss any female member of staff here', Jeff had to hand it to her, Mel was persistent.

'I have already told you, I am a married man. Here, I will give you the £2 anyway, but no kissing.'

'Go on, she won't find out, when I eventually meet her, I won't tell her anything'.

'Oh, you have already met her and I think she already has found out love' Jeff replied as he pointed to Dixie who was stood behind Mel listening to the whole conversation. She was slightly bemused that Jeff would give up kissing another woman using his marriage as an excuse; it wasn't as though she would have minded, and after all, they were in an open marriage. Even Dixie had to admit that since their wedding two years ago, they had both remained faithful to each other; they had no reason not to. She was deeply touched by his faithfulness, more so than she ever thought she would have been. After all, he was straight and she was gay.

Mel spun round to come face to face with Dixie. She had only met her once briefly on her first day. Dixie was handing over a patient to Zoe in Resus when Mel walked in. Their first meeting hadn't gone down well as Mel pushed Dixie out of the way and discounted what she said remarking 'you have done your bit, now let us do ours' adding a comment about Paramedics being more hassle than they are worth.

Mel did not know what to say, she stared at Dixie for a while speechless before turning back to face Jeff who had leant himself up against the breakfast bar with a grin on his face.

'Staff Nurse Saunders, I would like you to meet Dixie Collier, my wife'.

Mel looked back at Dixie, who by this time was looking cross just as a thought occurred to her. Mel looked across at her colleagues who had collapsed into laughter at the awkward introduction and realisation on Mel's face that Jeff and Dixie were married. 'Well Jeff, as you have already paid your £2, why don't you kiss your wife?'

The smug look from Jeff's face soon disappeared at that statement staring at Mel and Dixie. How was he going to get out of this one? It wasn't as if he had never kissed Dixie before, he had, but it had been on the cheek or forehead mainly. The last time he kissed her on the lips was on their wedding day and that was just for show. Thinking on his feet, Jeff replied 'she is my wife; I do not have to pay anything to give her a kiss, why should I start now?'

'It is for charity Jeff, go on, it's just one kiss'

Jeff shrugged his shoulders and readjusted himself before walking over to a nervous looking Dixie. Not wanting to look stupid in front of his colleagues, he placed his right hand on her waist and took her head in his left before placing his lips on hers giving her a soft but tender kiss.

'Oh Jeff, you really know how to treat a woman' Zoe smirked as she turned to make a coffee.

Turning away from Dixie, Jeff looked at Mel, 'there you go £2 and one kiss...satisfied'

'No'

'You what' barked Dixie. She was starting to get angry with this new nurse and Jeff could sense it as he took hold of her hand, he knew he had gone too far and was going to get a good telling off. 'Right, c'mon Dix, we need to clear up the ambulance before our next shout comes in'. Jeff started to lead his wife out of the staffroom before they were both stopped dead in their tracks'

'I will pay £20 to Cancer Research to see Jeff give Dixie a proper kiss'

The Paramedic duo looked at each other before turning round to see Noel take out his money and hand it to Mel. He was grinning while the other members of the ED stood there mesmerised as to what would happen next.

'You cannot be serious Noel' Jeff said looking at him as if to say, you know she bats for the other team, please do not make a scene.

'Now that sounds like a good idea to me and the more money the better for Charity' Mel said as she took the money off Noel. Turning to face the husband and wife she added, 'well, he has paid; now you have to deliver'.

'Listen love, I do not think you quite get it, we are in a professional working environment, not a playground. Dixie and I have work to do as I am sure you do as well' Jeff was stern with what he said, Dixie, on the other hand was shocked at what she was hearing, however she did not let go of Jeff's hand, she only held it tighter looking into his eyes asking him to put a stop to this.

'I've paid to see a kiss and a kiss is what I want to see, come on Mr and Mrs Collier, get it on' Noel was now really trying to wind them up much now to the amusement of Big Mac and Zoe who in a perverse way could not wait to see how this one played out. Will they do it?

Jeff and Dixie were rooted to the spot, why was Noel doing this? Jeff already felt awkward after the first kiss and he was waiting to get out of the ED and accept his verbal battering.

'Kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss' came the chants of Mel, Lloyd, Scarlett, Zoe and Big Mac.

'We are not in a playground here' Dixie shouted back at them 'you lot need to grow up'. She said as she went to pull Jeff out of the staffroom.

'What I do not understand is that if you are such a happily married man, why won't you kiss your wife?' Even Jeff had to admit, Mel had a point. If only he hadn't used his marriage as an excuse the first time, maybe this would never have happened.

There was no way out of this for them, he had to kiss her. Jeff turned again to face his wife bringing his right hand up the inside of her jacket so it touched her uniform on her waist. Again with his left hand, he brushed her hair behind her ear before leaning in to kiss her again.

Dixie couldn't quite believe what was happening, this was one crazy shift today. One minute she was handing over a teenage boy with head injuries, the next she was being kissed by Jeff and now he was back for seconds. Dixie stood there with her hands on his arms as their lips touched. She was immediately hit by how soft they were and how tender his kiss was. Her head was saying no, but her heart was saying something else. Slowly she moved her head and parted her lips a little to allow his tongue into her mouth.

As the kiss deepened, she found herself pulling Jeff in closer as her arms went around his neck holding the back of his head. Was she really doing this? Was she really kissing a man?

Dixie could not believe what she was doing, however it wasn't long before her head started to take over as she brought the kiss to an end moving her hands from his head to pushing Jeff away from her. Dixie turned to a shocked looking audience 'Noel, I would ask for your money back mate,' before looking back to a red faced Jeff 'You need to work on your technique mate, it is a good job you are better at saving lives than kissing women'. Slapping him on the arm she added, 'c'mon, we have work to do' before walking briskly out of the staffroom leaving everyone with their jaws dragging on the floor.


	2. Chapter 2

_**A / N – OK, I really struggled with this chapter and to think of how I wanted to move the story on. I am sorry if it is bit rubbish, any reviews greatly received, any help greatly received. **_

Five PM could not have come quicker for Dixie as she walked briskly across the car park towards their car with Jeff in tow.

'Blimey, what day!' he remarked as Dixie unlocked the car and got into the driver's side.

'Yeah, three RTC's, 2 head injuries, a stabbing and 4 hoax calls' She rattled off without looking at him as she started to drive them home.

Jeff couldn't help but notice that Dixie wasn't herself especially after the staffroom incident. He was expecting a telling off but he hadn't got it. He was expecting to be in trouble, but he wasn't – well, he did not think he was.

Instead Dixie just carried on with her work as if nothing had happened. Jeff had to admit to feeling slightly awkward about the whole situation. He loved Dixie, there was no doubt in his mind about that, but did he love her in any other sense?

As Dixie was driving, he took it upon himself to play about with the radio to find something to listen to, for the first time in god knows how many years of being with Dixie, he couldn't think of what to say, but he couldn't stand the silence. He eventually found some old classic radio show and let it play out as he looked out of the window trying to rationalise his own feelings. The kiss they had shared was strange; even he had to admit that. He thought it strange that she accepted it and pulled him in closer, there was a small part of him that had expected her to push him away instantly, but she didn't. Jeff knew Dixie was a lesbian and that she wouldn't change her sexuality for anything, he did not want her to change, he wanted her to be happy. There was something eating away at him, something that was making him see his best friend in a new light, he couldn't quite put his finger on it. Could he see their relationship taking an unexpected turn?

Jeff was quickly brought back to Earth as they pulled up on their drive. Dixie had got out and was pulling the bin back up to the gate. Jeff watched his wife struggle with the wheelie bin before he unbuckled his seatbelt and got out to give her a hand before unlocking the front door.

Lil Abs came running up to them as they stood in the hallway taking off shoes and coats.

'I will take him out the back' Dixie said as she led the dog to the kitchen.

'I will put the kettle on then' Jeff responded following her in.

Jeff busied himself in the kitchen making a cup of tea, Lil Abs' food and finding something for dinner in the fridge. Dixie stood at the back door taking her eyes of the dog turning to watching Jeff intently as he moved swiftly from one place in the kitchen to the next. She watched him make the tea, throw the mail onto the kitchen table and dig about for Lil Abs' bowl. She then watched him sit on the floor in front of the freezer looking through the packets for something to cook them.

She wanted to talk to him about the kiss, she wanted to try and rationalise her own feelings towards him, but something was stopping her. For the first time in her adult life she was confused with whom she was and what she was turning into. Did she feel any differently about her friend? Could she see their relationship taking a different turn? Did she want their relationship to take a different turn? Dixie would have never questioned her sexuality, she was always firm in that belief, however, something today had made her begin to question it and it made her feel uneasy.

Lil Abs came up to her and nuzzled his head into her leg reminding her he was there, 'Ok mate, let's go back in then' she said as she opened the back door. Lil Abs went straight for the food bowl Jeff had placed on the floor by the sink. Dixie watched him as he munched through the dog food thinking to herself 'not a care in the world that dog has'.

She moved to the other side of the Kitchen and sat down at the table where Jeff had placed the two mugs of tea. He was still trying to find something to eat in the freezer, in the end; he gave up in disgust before looking up at his wife.

'What do you fancy for dinner Princess?'

'Dunno. Take it you couldn't find anything to take your fancy?'

'Nah, not really, we have fish fingers and chips in the freezer, I could cook them. Or, there is a left over quiche in the fridge?'

'We might as well finish the quiche. We could go shopping tomorrow, we are on a late shift, so we have time.'

Jeff nodded and smiled at her before he rose to his feet pulling the quiche and some salad out of the fridge. Dixie again found herself watching him intently as he made their dinner. He was good in the kitchen, even she had to admit that, she wondered just how he had become so domesticated. Smiling to herself, she turned to face the pile of mail Jeff had flung on the table scanning through to see what there was.

It still amazed her how she was willing to take his surname when they got married. As they were in an open marriage, she thought she would still be Kathleen Dixon, but something made her change her name to Collier. She always thought she would have mail addressed to 'Mrs and Mrs X, not Mr and Mrs Collier. She realised just how much she and Jeff shared; bank accounts were joint, the mortgage was joint, the car was joint, they did practically everything together. Did it all mean more to her than she was prepared to accept? Or Admit? Who knows?

The rest of the evening was uneventful; they watched some TV before Dixie went off to have a bath while Jeff took Lil Abs for a walk. They were both unaware of how much they were thinking of each other, the kiss and their feelings. Both were pretty stubborn thinking it best to not talk about it with the other incase one got offended or upset. In their own minds, they decided to wait until the other brought it up, but for now would try and get their own heads around how they were feeling.

Jeff sat on the sofa flicking through the channels again to find something mind numbing to watch, he had too much going on in his head to concentrate on anything else. He settled on a repeat of a Comedy Road show flinging the remote onto the coffee table.

'What did that remote do to you?' Dixie asked as she handed him a mug of tea.

'Nothing, I didn't mean to fling it down like that, sorry Princess'.

'I wasn't having a go Jeffrey.' Dixie replied as she placed her mug on the coaster sitting in the arm chair facing the TV.

'Oh, have I done something to upset you?'

'What are you on about Jeffrey?'

'You usually come and sit next to me while we watch TV, and sometimes, you even cuddle up!' He remarked raising a slight smile towards her.

Dixie shot him a glare but knew what he meant. She did often sit right up next to him of an evening, and would 'cuddle up' as he put it. Was she turning into a wife? Is that who she wanted to become?

'Get over yourself Jeffrey, like I would ever cuddle up to you'

Jeff looked hurt at this comment but chose not to pursue it anymore. Instead he smiled again at her before turning back to the TV deep down being more hurt than he would ever let on.


	3. Chapter 3

_**A / N: OK, so I got half way through writing this and my computer crashed and I lost the lot. I tried to remember what I typed! Don't you just love technology? **_

'Right, this is Natalie Johnson, 24 years old found collapsed at work after complaining of dizziness and nausea, BP 124 over 86, pulse 180 and SATs are 97 percent on air. She was briefly KO'd and has been immobilized with a collar and board. No other obvious signs of trauma. Right, everyone got a bit... on three please ladies and gents...one, two three'

They lifted the patient off the trolley before Dixie pushed it to the corner of Resus waiting for Jeff to finish the paperwork.

'Thanks Dixie' Sam said as she started her primary survey on Natalie.

Jeff finished filling in the transfer sheet passing it over to Lloyd before helping Dixie wheel the trolley out of the door.

Dixie didn't stop to make polite conversation with anyone in the ED; she took control of the trolley and carried on walking out briskly nearly knocking Mel over in the process. Jeff watched her leave before he slumped over the reception desk letting out a sigh.

'She not forgiven you yet then?' asked Zoe a she continued to type at one of the nearby computers.

'Looks that way doesn't it' Jeff replied.

'What's wrong with your wife today, she seems to be in one foul mood' Mel asked as she approached Reception trying to rearrange the files she nearly dropped after dodging Dixie and the trolley.

'Nothing, she just has a headache that's all, didn't sleep well and it is also mad moo week'.

'I am not so sure she would appreciate you broadcasting that information do you?' Zoe commented without looking up from the computer. Jeff merely nodded in response looking over to the doors wondering if she would come back and get him or tell him off for wasting time.

'If that's her during her time, what is she like on a normal day?' Mel continued

'One of the loveliest people you will ever meet' Jeff replied as he pulled himself up and walked away. He didn't have much time for Mel after the stunt she pulled the other day and he certainly didn't appreciate her making poorly judged comments about Dixie.

Mel watched Jeff intently as he moved through the corridor and out of the door. Once she was certain he had left, she turned to question Noel.

'So, come on then, dish the dirt on the happily married Mr and Mrs Collier'

'Aye'

'C'mon Noel, there has to be some gossip about them. You have got to admit, they are an unlikely combination'

'Mel, there is no gossip or dirt to dish on them, now if you will excuse me; I have to process the Resus patient.'

'You are hiding something, I can tell'

'I do not know what you are on about'

'Did you not sense the tension between them the other day in the staffroom when they had to kiss for Cancer Research?'

'They did kiss in case you have forgotten...twice'

'Yeah and now she is in a mood with him, don't you think it is a bit strange?'

'Not really, he said she wasn't feeling well.'

'OK you two enough wasting of time, you process the patient, and you, go and do the obs please' Zoe butted in much to Noel's relief.

Mel walked away remaining unconvinced, there was something not right about how they were with each other, not one to give up on a conquest, she would make it her mission to find out what she could about the husband and wife ambulance crew.

Meanwhile totally oblivious to the conversations what were happening in the ED, Jeff wondered into the car park and over to their ambulance. Dixie was sitting on the step with her head in her hands,

'Aye Princess, you OK? Did you want something for your headache?' Jeff asked her softly as he moved to sit beside her.

'I am fine Jeffrey; I can deal with a headache you know.'

'OK, I was only asking, are you sure it is just a headache though?' Jeff asked tentively. He had agreed with himself not to pursue her about the kiss, but there was still something eating away at him. He didn't know why he asked her that, but he had now and he had to accept the consequences.

'What do you mean by that?'

'Listen Babe, don't take this the wrong way, but you have been really off with me since...you know...the other day in the staffroom.'

Dixie shot him a glare before her radio buzzed into life

'Holby control to 3006'

'3006 responding over'

'RTC on Genesta Street, motorbike in a collision with a lorry, casualties unknown'

'3006 responding and on way over'

Dixie clipped her radio back onto her belt getting up to close the doors, as she did, she turned to face Jeff, 'I wouldn't flatter yourself that I would have given myself a headache because I was thinking about the other day'. Truth is, she had given herself a headache thinking about the other day, that was all she was thinking about.

Jeff didn't know how to respond to that, so he didn't, he merely moved out of her way and made his way to the driver's side of their ambulance waiting for her to get in before he pulled away. The journey was quiet, neither of them said anything to each other, but they had each other on their minds.

After they had offloaded the driver of the Lorry into Resus, Jeff and Dixie made their way out of the ED for the last time that day. Their shift was over and they were both looking forward to a quick pint down the pub before getting home.

'Guys' Noel called after them as he ran to catch them up 'I just thought I would let you know that Mel has been asking questions about your two.'

'What do you mean questions?' Dixie replied quickly.

'Well, about your 'relationship', she is after some gossip I think.'

'What did you tell her?' Jeff asked visibly paled at the thought of having to explain their relationship to another member of staff who would ridicule him for having a lesbian as a wife. He should have been used to it by now, but, he couldn't help but feel that things were starting to change for them.

'Nothing, I just said there was no gossip and everything was fine'.

'Cheers Noel' Jeff said before turning to help Dixie load the trolley back into the ambulance. 'See you down the pub in a bit'.

Noel smiled before heading back indoors. Dixie was bemused by Jeff and what he had said, it did not usually bother him about telling people he was straight and she was gay, but, she too was glad that Noel hadn't said anything to Mel. This feeling further confused her, she had been battling with her feelings over Jeff and what they shared. Could one kiss really change her? Had it already started to change her?

Dixie was so deep in thought that she hadn't heard a word Jeff had just said to her, a quick pat on the shoulder from him brought her back down to planet Earth.

'What was that?'

'I was just saying that Mel has some nerve doesn't she, I was also saying how strange it is that she wants to find out about us. Don't you think it is a bit weird?'

'S'ppose so' was all she could muster in response.

'Dix, are you sure you are OK?' Jeff asked now quite concerned at her offish behaviour and distant mindset towards him and everything.

'Yeah, I'm fine. C'mon, let's get this parked up and down the pub'.

Jeff stood and stared at her for a little while, he had the sudden urge to hug her and tell her how he was feeling towards her, but he decided against it. Maybe a few beers will help him.


	4. Chapter 4

_**A / N – OK, so I have been debating as to how to carry this story on (it seemed like a good idea at the time), I thought I would leave Jeff and Dixie to battle with their feelings for a little while and attempt to give some back story on Mel and her character before I went back to the Colliers. **_

_**Hope you enjoy, it's not my best effort as I am a bit useless at writing back stories, reviews are welcome. **_

Mel was someone who didn't care what other people thought of her and she certainly wasn't scared of making her opinions or intentions known to others around her. She felt that being open and honest was the best way to get what you wanted out of life. People knew where they stood with you, and that was certainly the case with Mel Saunders.

No one at Holby could question her ability to do her job; she cared for each one of her patients and always went the extra mile for them much to the annoyance of some of the consultants who just seemed to move from one person to the next without so much as a second glance. She had her fair share of stuck up Doctors when her Mum was diagnosed with Cancer. She would often go with her to the hospital for treatment and would be amazed at how impersonal the doctors were, but always noticed how kind the nurses were towards people.

Looking after her Mum was hard for Mel, she was only 18 when she was diagnosed, and the cancer was severe and spread quickly, after 10 months of extensive treatment, there was nothing more anyone could do. Mel gave up going to University to study law to look after her Mum; she knew the time she had left was short, but wanted to make the most of it.

Her mother died just a year later, one week before she turned 20, and this hit Mel hard. She now had to look after herself and cope in the world without her mum. Her mum would never see her get married, have children, all the things girls want to do with their Mum, Mel could not. If she had worries or concerns, she now had no one to talk to about them. The nurses were really kind and helped Mel with the funeral and arrangements, in a way; they were the ones who inspired Mel to train to become a nurse. So that is exactly what she did.

Mel enrolled at the nearest college that offered nursing and got started straight away. She found it hard juggling her studies with her placements as well as looking after herself and the house, but she got by. Mel enjoyed a good night out and would be the life and soul of the party. It was at one of these nights out that she met someone and discovered new but different feelings towards them. Mel was a lesbian and proud of it. She didn't care who saw her kissing women and what people thought. She was confident, out and proud of it. She knew her Mum would be pleased for her and would only want her to be happy.

Her time at college seemed to fly past and two years later she was starting her first job as an ED nurse at Holby City. She had done her research on the place before she applied for the job, she knew all about the Clinical Lead and his background; she also knew she would like to work there as everyone seemed really friendly. One day, she simply sat in the waiting area of the ED observing people as they went about their business totally oblivious to who she was and why she was there. Mel thought the best way to get a feel for the place was to watch from the sidelines and that is what she did.

It was an interesting day; she watched Noel on Reception get the job done but also have time for a laugh with Big Mac as well as wind up the other nurses. She noticed the two younger nurses, Lloyd and Scarlett along with the infamous Mr Jordan. She also watched the Paramedics fly in and out of the ED with patient after patient. There was not a dull five minutes to be had, which was just the way she liked it.

She had quickly made her mark on the ED when she started; she was a very personable sort who wanted to find out as much as she could about her colleagues. However, sometimes her questions and curiosity branded her a bit of a nosey parker. She got to know people as her week went on, she knew that Noel and Big Mac had all the gossip, Lloyd and Scarlett were dating, Charlie and Tess were like the mother and father of the ED, she also know about Linda and her family situation. However, she did not get off on the right foot with the Paramedics, especially the blonde woman in charge.

Mel was in Resus with Zoe when Dixie came in with Stevie to hand over a patient, it was Mel's first time in Resus and she wanted to get stuck in as quickly as possible. Zoe was calling out various tests to be done and Mel wanted to oblige straight away. She got cross with Dixie being in the way as she tried to unattach her monitor from the patient, Mel muttered something about Paramedics being more hassle than they are worth and practically told a shocked but cross looking Dixie to get out.

'Looks like you have just upset one of the Paramedics in your first week, well done.' Zoe remarked as she carried on examining the patient.

'She looks a bit moody doesn't she?' Mel replied handing Zoe over the bandage.

'What Dixie? Trust me; she is one person who you do not want to cross.'

'Why's that then?'

'Mel, concentrate..'

That signalled the end of that chat, there was a part of Mel that wanted to find Dixie and apologise to her, but she decided against it. If she saw her again, she will make the effort to be much politer. However, Mel didn't bank on seeing Dixie as soon as she did afterwards and was even more surprised to find out that the moody looking blonde one was married to the humorous male Paramedic. What on earth does he see in her? She thought to herself as she was introduced to Jeff's wife.

Mel often thought about the Cancer Research fundraiser and how obliging the staff were to take part. However, she had become a little fascinated by the two paramedics and how they were with each other. She had seen a man kiss a woman before and had seen a husband and wife kiss, but there was something strange with how they reacted. Mel wasn't convinced, there was something not quite right about them? She couldn't help but think she had seen Dixie before somewhere, but couldn't quite place where. Maybe some more fishing was in order?


	5. Chapter 5

_**A / N – So the next couple of chapters are going to explore Jeff and Dixie's feelings after that kiss in chapter one, this one will be from Jeff's point of view, the next from Dixie's before ...well, I haven't really thought of that yet. **_

Dixie pulled up outside the usual pub to let Jeff out.

'You not coming in then?' he asked her clearly concerned about her mood and wellbeing.

'No, not tonight, I am not feeling too good so I am just gonna head home. Text me when you want picking up and I will come and get you.'

'Nah, it's OK Princess, I will get a taxi home.'

'It's OK Jeff, I don't mind.'

'Dix, it is fine, if you are not feeling well, go home and get some sleep. I will make my own way home and I will see you later.'

Jeff unbuckled his seatbelt and placed a comforting hand on her leg before getting out of the car. He was still concerned at Dixie's behaviour, but he didn't want to question it, he would only get the sharp end of her tongue if he did. Dixie, on the other hand, watched Jeff walk into the pub and disappear from her view. Letting out a sigh, she made her way home to try and get her head around how she was now feeling towards her partner.

Jeff stood in the doorway of the pub and watched as their car pulled away and went around the corner; he too let out a sigh as he watched her drive away. He didn't want to be in pub on his own without her, but, he knew she needed time to clear her head as did he. He felt deflated the last couple of days, she was off with him, and things just were not how they used to be since that kiss in the staffroom. He was battling to reason with his own feelings, so he knew Dixie would be as well.

Thinking that a few beers were in order, he headed in, getting his drink before joining the others at their usual tables at the back of the pub.

'No Dixie tonight then?' Zoe asked

'Nah, she isn't feeling too good, so she has gone home.'

'Right, fair enough.' Zoe replied asking a sip from her wine before turning back to Jeff. 'Is everything OK between you two?'

'Yeah, everything is fine.' Jeff said taking a gulp from his pint before placing it back down.

Zoe eyed him curiously, she didn't even want to begin to understand the relationship Jeff and Dixie had, but she knew when there was something up with the pair of them. They were usually inseparable, but it hadn't escaped her attention that they were not quite right with each other after the staffroom stunt.

'Have you spoken to her about it?' Zoe asked as she looked through her bag for her phone.

'What was that?' Jeff replied, he had heard her perfectly well, but wondered why Zoe had said it.

'Have you spoken to her about it?' Zoe repeated.

'About what?'

'Jeff, don't play silly buggers, you know perfectly well about what. You need to speak with her, be honest with her. What is the worst that can happen?' she said as she got up to go and have a cigarette.

Jeff was left staring at his pint. Zoe was right, he needed to talk to Dixie, but what would he say? If he was honest with her, what could happen? Downing the contents of his glass, he got up to order another drink. No one else really bothered with him in the pub, Zoe would talk to him, Lenny was playing a drinking game with Big Mac and Noel, something which Jeff would have normally joined in on, but not tonight. He had other things on his mind; he had Dixie on his mind.

'So what are you going to say to her?' Zoe asked as she pulled up a seat next to Jeff.

'I don't know, I really don't.'

'Listen, I know I am not one for advice, but, it is clear that something is bothering the pair of you, but you are just too stubborn to do anything about it.' After a short pause, she continued, 'What is on your mind right now?'

'She is.'

'Well that's a start. What do you think of when you think of her?'

'That she is the best thing that's ever happened to me, that I love her as a friend, but I think I love her now in a different way. I love her hair, her deep blue eyes, her smile, everything'

'Getting somewhere now, so what are you going to do?'

'I really don't know. How can I go up to her and tell her that since we kissed in the staffroom I feel something more for her? How do I tell her that I want to hold her, be with her, and love her? She bats for the other team for Christ's sake! How do I tell her that I am confused about how I feel and where this is going? How do I question her as to why she pulled me in closer? How do I tell her that I think I want more from our relationship? Zoe, this could end it all for us and I really don't want that.'

'You just need to tell her...'

Zoe did not get chance to finish as Mel arrived, slamming her drink down on the table in front of them bringing their mini counselling session to a close.

'Well, you know how to make an entrance.' Zoe remarked

'Sorry, was I interrupting something?'

'No, we were just having a little chat, weren't we Jeff?'

Jeff nodded in response, his mind was a whirlwind of emotion after his conversation with Zoe, he was still none the wiser as to what to do, but he knew he had to do something.

'No Mrs C tonight then?'

'Nah, she had gone home, she fancied an early night.'

'Oh, given you a free pass then has she?'

'What's your problem with us?' Jeff blurted out, he had had a few pints but he wasn't drunk, he was getting annoyed with Mel and her constant questioning. Not being one to let things go, Jeff continued:

'You question why we wouldn't kiss each other, question the mood Dixie is in, question Noel about us and our marriage. What is it with you? Do you secretly fancy one of us or something?'

Mel looked shocked at his outburst and Jeff had successfully silenced the ED group who had turned to look at him.

'No, you are not my type. I don't mean anything by it; I just wanted to get to know my colleagues.'

'Well, leave us alone, we are fine as we are and no one needs to question us.' Jeff wondered who was questioning them as he said it, where his colleagues questioning their marriage, or was he?

'Jeff, I know I haven't been here that long, but even I can sense all is not well at camp Collier.' Mel returned taking a sip of her wine before looking at the others with a cheeky grin on her face.

'Mel, I think you should just leave it now.' Zoe intercepted sensing that Jeff was really not in the mood.

Jeff shifted in his seat before he decided to get up, he wanted to go, but also wanted to stay to defend his wife and their marriage. He wasn't going to have some new nurse question his feelings. Manoeuvring past Mel and the ED group, he turned to face her with his back towards the bar. Jeff wanted to say something to them, to convince them that everything was OK between them, but in truth, he wasn't too sure it was. He had made his mind up, he was going to tell Dixie how he was feeling no matter how she reacted, and he was going to tell her. He wanted to go home now, run through the front door and up to her taking her in his arms, he wanted to hold her, kiss her and tell her how he now felt about her. He secretly hoped she felt the same. He was going to take a big risk; at least if she didn't believe him, he could pretend to be drunk! But is that what he really wanted?

'Jeff, I didn't mean to upset you, I...'

'Leave it Mel, I am not interested. I don't know what you lot are saying about us behind our backs, but you can just leave it. We are fine, Dix and me, just fine. Happily married and intend on staying that way for some time. Now, if you will excuse me, I am going home to my wife'

Jeff turned round and got the shock of his life as he came face to face with his wife. However, it wasn't anywhere near the shock the rest of the ED were going to get.


	6. Chapter 6

Dixie drove off around the corner and headed for home. She didn't want to leave Jeff on his own in the pub, but, she needed some time to herself, to process what she was going through, to process her feelings and thoughts. She drove through the streets relatively quickly until she pulled into their road and up onto their drive. She sat there for a while staring at their house, she took in its features, the glass front door with their house number in the middle, the bay window of the lounge and her bedroom above it. She looked over at the garden, flowers dotted around it all in bloom with freshly cut grass. Was this the life she dreamed of? Was this the house she dreamed of? Jeff had done a lot of the work to the front garden, she remembered him being out there for three days mowing, planting, pruning, making it just so. She smiled at the satisfied smile on his face when he had done it. Was he ever like this with his first wife Lucy? Dixie didn't know. All she knew about their marriage was that they both cheated on each other. What had made his marriage to Dixie so different?

Getting out of the car she walked into the house turning on the lights as she did so. Lil Abs came running up to her licking her hand as she took off her shoes and coat. Dixie stood in the hall looking around at the magnolia walls, the painting on the wall, the laminate flooring that caused a massive argument when Jeff was laying it. She ran her fingers along the painting tracing the outline of the flowers. Jeff had bought it for her for her birthday after they moved in; she liked the colours of the flowers and thought it would brighten the place up a bit. Jeff was always doing small things for her, but did they now mean more to her than they did?

Dixie made her way into the lounge, drawing the curtains and putting on the lights she sat down on the sofa taking a small box out from under the coffee table placing it on top before slowly opening it. The box contained photos of her family, friends and old partners. Slowly she picked up a photo of her parents, it was taken at the beach in Morecombe, and Dixie must have only been about 8years old at the time.

'What shall I do Mum? I thought I had it sorted, I thought I knew who I was, but, now I am confused.' She felt a little silly talking to a photo and an empty room, but she hoped by vocalising it, it would make it easier.

Leaning back into the sofa bringing the box closer, she continued:

'I bet you never thought I would get married did ya? Well, I didn't think so, I did it for you Dad, I wanted to make you proud of me, but, I messed that up as well. Don't get me wrong, Jeff is a lovely man, he is kind, gentle, caring, helpful and he has done all the work around the house. I never thought I would be settled down with a man, he is my best mate and now I don't know how I feel towards him.'

Running her finger over her parents faces, Dixie placed the photo on her lap as she went back to look through her box. She found photos of her with Josh and Greg; she also found a photo of her cousin. 'Blimey, haven't seen you in a long time.' She continued rummaging through until she came across her old girlfriends, she couldn't quite explain why she had kept them, but, she thought it might help her now.

As she held each one, Dixie tried to remember how she felt about them, she tried to remember the relationship she had with them. She tried to remember when they kissed; did it feel how it felt when Jeff kissed her? She went through them all from Suzie, to Jackie, to Cyd (although not a girlfriend, Dixie had feelings for her) right up to Lena. The only one she had strong feelings for was Cyd. Suzie was OK, but nothing special and Jackie was a rebound relationship after she separated from Suzie. Lena was a different story; she met her on her hen night and spent that night with her. Dixie was happy with her but it seemed a cruel twist that Lena ended up being the registrar to marry her and Jeff. After that, she never saw her again or contacted her again. 'What does this mean?' Dixie asked herself.

Returning to the picture of Cyd, she found herself talking out loud again: 'Cyd, what do you think? I haven't been in contact since you left 4 years ago; a lot has changed you known. My hair is longer but still blonde, I have lost a little weight, (although Jeff says he likes me just the way I am), I have a dog and I married Jeff. Yes, that's right, Jeff Collier is my husband. I still work at Holby and only seem to work with Jeff. Come to think of it, I do a lot with Jeff. I live with him, share a car and bank accounts with him, go on holiday with him, and have taken his surname, have I turned into his wife? Cyd, what shall I do? I am confused, am I still a lesbian? If you were here right now, what would you say to me? Everything was going good, we were happy together, still seems odd you know, a lesbian being happily settled with a man! But, things have changed between us; we shared a kiss in the staffroom at one of the nurses fund raisers. Sounds silly doesn't it, that all of this has started with a kiss.' As she spoke, she found herself holding a picture of Cyd in her left hand and a picture of Jeff on their wedding day in her right.

She sat there staring at the two photos of the two people she cared so deeply for; did she feel the same way about Jeff as she did with Cyd all those years ago? Did she still have those feelings for Cyd and Lena? Questions raced around in her head, she needed to start answering them:

Do you love Jeff? _Yes_

Did you love Cyd and Lena? _Yes_

Do you want to be with Cyd or Lena? _No_

Do you want to be with Jeff? _Yes_

Do you want to be with Jeff as a friend or his wife? _Both, I think. I want to be his best mate and I also want to be his wife. _

Do you want to be romantically involved with another woman again? _It has been so long, I don't know. I don't know if I could feel any of this about another woman. _

Do you want to be romantically involved with Jeff? _Bloody hell, I don't know. I think I do, I do love him, and I do care for him, but, is this me? Have I turned straight overnight? Does Jeff want me to be his conventional wife? _

Dixie threw the photos back into the box. She was starting to see a light at the end of the tunnel. She loved Jeff, she cared for him, and she still does. Getting to her feet, she turned to face the dog,

'Right Mate, I am off to get your daddy home, we need to do some talking.'

Dixie didn't think twice about the decision she had come to, she knew it was the right one, she rehearsed what she would say to Jeff over and over in her mind as she drove back to the pub, the only niggling worry was how he would react. Taking a deep breath, she walked into the pub, to be greeted by Jeff's back as he was having a rather loud 'chat' with Mel. Dixie stood back and watched as Jeff defended their marriage, he was clearly fighting with his feelings towards her.

'What if I get it wrong?' she thought to herself, 'What if I really mess this up?' She didn't have much time to get cold feet as Jeff's conversation was drawing to an end.

'Jeff, I didn't mean to upset you, I...'

'Leave it Mel, I am not interested. I don't know what you lot are saying about us behind our backs, but you can just leave it. We are fine, Dix and me, just fine. Happily married and intend on staying that way for some time. Now, if you will excuse me, I am going home to my wife'

Jeff turned round and got the shock of his life as he came face to face with his wife. However, it wasn't anywhere near the shock the rest of the ED were going to get.


	7. Chapter 7

**A / N – Thank you for your kind reviews for the story so far. **

**OK, so, I have been thinking of the direction to take this story and it is going to go in a different direction to which I planned. I found this chapter hard to write, but I wanted to give a little more back story and introduce another person to the mix before picking up where I left off at the end of chapter six. Hope you enjoy this chapter (sorry it is badly written). **

'How was your day?' Mel's girlfriend called from the lounge as Mel walked into their flat placing her keys and bag on the table by the door. Walking into join her girlfriend on the sofa placing a kiss on her head she replied:

'Not too bad. In total this week we have raised £358.00 for Cancer Research, £20 of which came from one person.'

'That's good then considering you were only actively fundraising for an hour, so what did you get them to do?'

'They had to pay £2 and they could kiss anyone in the ED they wanted to. It was a laugh, but all were willing participants. Then Tess let me leave the box on reception for a few days to collect more money'

'That was kind of her.' Her girlfriend replied before noticing Mel's vacant expression. 'What's up babe? You seem lost in thought.'

'Oh, ….sorry. I am OK, just been a long day that's all' Mel replied looking at the floor.

'Mel….. What's on your mind?' her girlfriend asked as she moved to place a comforting hand on her leg. 'Is it your Mum?'

Mel was away in her own world of thought that she didn't hear the last bit of what was said. Something was still puzzling her about the Paramedics, one in particular. The staff on the ED were saying nothing about them, but Mel remained unconvinced. She was not one to give up easily; she knew something was amiss with them. She was convinced she had seen a picture of Dixie or had seen her somewhere before. It was eating away at her that she couldn't remember.

'So, one week down, tell me, what is Holby like?' Her girlfriend asked changing the subject slightly.

'Tess and Charlie are lovely, really supportive. I am not sure about Lloyd, he seems a bit to up himself for my liking. Scarlett, well I don't know what she sees in Lloyd. Then there is Noel and Big Mac, they are like some strange Morecombe and Wise comedy act.'

'Sounds like an interesting place to be working. What about the Doctors? Any fit ones?'

Mel looked over at her girlfriend jokingly slapping her on the arm before she replied, 'Mr Jordan is scary, but the others are nice. Dylan is a bit odd, but he gets the job done. Zoe is great to work with. Then there are the Paramedics.'

'What about them?' he girlfriend asked.

'Well, they are a bit odd aren't they? Most are fine, but there is one combination that just doesn't seem right and I cannot put my finger on it. For a husband and wife partnership, they are sure strange. I don't know what they see in each other.'

'Husband and Wife?' Mel's girlfriend nearly choked on her wine before placing the glass down and pouring one out for Mel. Handing it to her, she continued: 'Ambulance people are strange, I should know.'

'Yeah, I bet you looked really hot in your uniform.' Mel returned raising a smile and a wink at her partner of the last three years.

'Oi, there will be none of that tonight please.'

'You spoil all my fun.' Mel laughed as she took a sip of wine.

'How do you mean they are strange? Husbands and wives can work together as well you know.'

'Yeah, but the other day when we were doing the kiss challenge, he didn't want to kiss her and she didn't want to kiss him. Tell me babe, if you were in a loving, stable marriage, would you want to kiss your other half?

'Course I would.' She said leaning over to give Mel a kiss.

'You have experience of this.'

'Experience of what?' Mel's girlfriend replied looking confused.

'Being with a man.' She said as she pulled a horrified and disgusted look at her girlfriend. The very thought of being with a man romantically repulsed Mel and it took her a little while to get used to the fact that her girlfriend used to be straight.

'Charming. But yes, I guess I do.'

'Tell me the story again, tells me how you changed to the correct side.' Mel urged her girlfriend as she snuggled down to rest against her on the sofa.

'I like how you say the 'correct side'. Why do you want to hear it again? Do you think I might run off with one of the Paramedics again?'

Mel looked up at her partner and shot her a glare before resting her head back on her shoulder. Her girlfriend took this as a sign to carry on, so that is what she did.

'Well, I had this friend who I worked with. We had been friends for ages, when I ran away from home I met her and we just clicked. She was kind and supportive, confident in knowing who she was. She helped me get back on my feet and got me a job. We worked together for years and were really happy. When we transferred to a different team, I met this man and we started dating, it got serious at one point as well. Don't bet me wrong, I was happy with him, but not as happy as I am with you.'

'You are a sweetie.'

'The thing is, while I was with him, I didn't realise how she felt about me. I knew she was a lesbian but I wasn't at the time. I didn't know that she would end up falling for me. At the time though, I didn't feel the same, but it confused me to say the least.'

'So what did you do?'

'I had to leave, I got a transfer and left. She was devastated, but, I knew she had someone with her who would be there for her. Once I left, I found myself questioning who I was. I went out with other men, but it didn't feel right. Something inside me had changed, she had made me question who I was. I dint speak to her again though, I couldn't, so I just moved on with my life and hoped she had as well.'

'I am glad she did make you see sense, because if it wasn't for this person, you wouldn't have been I the club that night and I wouldn't have met you and we wouldn't be together.'

'No, and I am grateful that she showed me who I really was.' After a small pause, Mel's girlfriend looked at her, 'I wonder if she still works at Holby?'

'How would I know babe, you have never told me her name and besides, I see a lot of women paramedics running in and out of the ED each day.' Mel replied taking another sip from her wine glass.

'Well, which Paramedics have you met then?'

'Well there is Dom and Stevie – both male, Amanda and Chris – both females, there was Omar and Tamsin, but they left, Jo and Ali – again both females. Oh, and the famous Colliers.'

As Mel rattled off the names, she kept a close eye on her girlfriend noticing a change in facial expression as she said the last two names. She knew she had recognised them, so she decided to push her gently on the matter, 'any seem familiar?'

'Colliers?'

'Yeah, Jeff and Dixie.'

'Jeff…. And…Dixie' was all she got in reply.

'Yeah, they are married.'

'Married?'

'Yeah'

'They cannot be married.'

'Well, they are.'

'Oh my God.'

'What is it babe?'

'I do not believe this.'

'Babe?'

Mel's girlfriend turned to face Mel once more looking straight into her eyes. Mel could see a look of shock and utter disbelief forming as she spoke.

'Of all the names you have said, I only recognise two. Jeff and Dixie. But they cannot be married; no way can they be married.'

'Why? You said it wasn't unusual for a husband and wife to work together.'

'It is when one of them is gay.'

It was now Mel's turn to choke on her wine. 'You what?'

'Dixie is gay. She is the person who told me she loved me; she is the person who made me see who I really was. She was the friend who helped me out. She cannot be married to Jeff, he is a bloke!'

Mel relaxed back into the sofa totally dumbfounded by what she was hearing. 'Have you got a picture of her? It might not be the same person.'

Her girlfriend flipped out her phone and scrolled through until she found a picture of her with Dixie showing it to Mel. Mel took the phone and studied the photo, it was Dixie alright although she was younger with visibly bleached Blonde hair. Not even a natural blonde then Mel thought to herself. 'Now that explains why they didn't want to kiss.'

Looking over to her girlfriend who was still shocked at what she had just heard, Mel handed her back the phone.

'Come on, let's go to the pub. I think you could do with a much stronger drink than this.'

'Will she be there? Mel, I cannot go if she is there, that would be weird. We haven't spoken since I left.'

'She probably will be, but with her current mood towards Jeff and the fact she isn't feeling too good, I doubt it very much.'

Taking her girlfriend by the hand, Mel pulled her into a hug and a passionate kiss, 'Don't worry, it will be fine, you are with me now and I want to show off my gorgeous partner to the ED.' She said before leading her to the front door.

**A / N – I know, really fluffy isn't it. Thanks for reading and I will try and update again soon. **


	8. Chapter 8

_**A / N – Thank you to GirlWednesday and Sarahloulabellx for their reviews to the story so far. Enjoy this update. **_

Jeff stood staring at his wife for what seemed like an eternity. He hadn't expected to see her again tonight until he got home; he was confused as to why she had come back to the pub when she said she was feeling ill and just wanted to go home.

'Princess, what are you doing here? Are you alright?' he asked trying to work out if something was wrong, if she was ill or if something had happened at home.

Dixie didn't respond, she was rooted to the spot just as much as he was. She stared into his eyes taking in his facial features again. Even though she had rehearsed in her head what she was going to say to Jeff, nothing came out of her mouth. She could see the confusion and panic in his face, but still couldn't find the voice to speak to him. She looked around noticing Zoe, Mel, Lenny, Noel, Big Mac, Scarlet and Lloyd all transfixed on the pair of them wondering as to what would happen. Looking back to Jeff, she could only bring herself to say one thing to him and that one thing took him completely by surprise.

'Hold me Jeff.'

Jeff's eyes widened as he heard this, did she really say that? Does she really want me to hold her? Looking on at his wife a little unsure about what to do, he moved forward towards her not taking his eyes off her. As he got nearer, she gave him a small smile and he knew instantly that she did mean it; she did want him to hold her. Placing his arms securely around her waist, he pulled her in close to him as she wrapped her arms around his neck. Dixie rested her head on his shoulder looking over at the others who were sat there staring at the sudden display of affection from the pair of them. She even caught Scarlett tapping Lloyd on the arm 'awwwww' she said. Dixie smiled, closed her eyes and buried her head into Jeff as they stood in a tight hug.

Jeff stood holding Dixie tightly, he was confused, does this mean she feels the same about me? Does this mean we are going to be a proper married couple? Lots of questions were racing through his mind. After his conversation with Zoe, Jeff thought he knew what he needed to do, but, he didn't want Dixie to change who she was. He decided for now, he would hold her tight and close to him letting her be the one to talk first about her feelings. Moving his hand up her back to rub it, he caught sight of someone out of the corner of his eye.

'It can't be, no, no way. It really cannot be. Why now?' Jeff thought to himself as the person he saw walked closer. He recognised her instantly and knew she had recognised him and the person he was holding. Jeff tightened his hold on his wife whilst staring at the person who was walking towards them.

'Dixie'

Dixie's eyes shot open as she heard her name being called. She recognised that voice, she hadn't heard it in a long time, but she knew who it was. Colour drained from her face as she slowly lifted her head from the comfort of Jeff's shoulder

'Cyd?'

Turning slightly, Dixie saw it was indeed Cyd. She had changed since she saw her all those years ago, her hair was shorter and was darker in colour, she was still ridiculously thin, but had make up on and looked more grown up. Dixie didn't know what to say or do; she hadn't seen her since her transfer five years ago. They didn't exactly part on great terms after Dixie told her she loved her and Cyd found this too hard to handle, why had she turned up here now? Dixie stayed close to Jeff moving her arms from his neck placing them around his waist, Jeff, on the other hand, held Dixie even tighter, it was clear he was not going to let her go without a fight.

Cyd, on the other hand looked Dixie and Jeff up and down. Jeff hadn't really changed much, he had got older and had less hair, but apart from that, he looked no different. She noticed how Dixie had changed, her hair was a lot longer, it was still blonde, and she had lost some weight. Cyd noticed how Dixie also looked older, but decided she still looked better than Jeff.

Noticing Cyd looking her up and down, Dixie was still shocked and bemused asking 'What are you doing here Cyd?'

'She is with me' Mel piped up from the tables in the corner. Dixie and Jeff spun around to face Mel, who was sat there grinning from ear to ear at their horrified expressions. 'Everyone I would like to introduce you to Cyd Pyke, my girlfriend.'

'Your what?' Dixie exclaimed looking from Mel to Cyd and back again.

'My girlfriend.'

Jeff and Dixie made eye contact with each other as Dixie returned to face Cyd:

'You cannot be her girlfriend, you are not gay.'

'Ha, you are a fine one to talk.' Mel spat out causing Jeff to give her an evil glare.

'And what do you mean by that then?' He spat back equally venomous.

'Heard of the saying that has a pot, a kettle and the word black?'

'I have had just about enough of you for one night; spit it out whatever is on your mind.' Jeff retorted.

'All I am going to say is that the woman you are holding is a fine one to talk and question someone's sexuality.' Mel returned getting up to move closer to Jeff, she was going to show him that she will not be intimidated by him.

'Bloody hell, this is better than Eastenders' Lenny joked which earned him a slap on the arm from Zoe.

'Lenny, use your indoor voice and shut it will you. I want to see what happens next.' Zoe whispered.

'What do you mean by that?' Jeff returned becoming increasingly annoyed by Mel, he found he had let go of Dixie who by this time had turned to face Cyd still in a state of utter disbelief.

'Well Mr Collier, do you know you married a lesbian?' Mel shouted out which caused Lloyd and Scarlett to drop their jaws in utter surprise and Lenny erupted into laughter.

''Oh Zo, this is amazing. I bet the writers of Easteneders are kicking themselves as they didn't think about this as a story line.'

'Did she just say that Dixie is gay?' Lloyd asked Big Mac who nodded. 'Oh my days, how disgusting.'

This comment didn't go unnoticed by Jeff who stormed over to where Lloyd was sat

'You what? Fancy repeating that do ya? It is not disgusting, yeah, so I married her knowing she was a lesbian, but do you know what, we have more love in our relationship than you will ever know.'

'It is not a marriage though, marriage isn't just about love, it is a sacred union between man and woman, what you have got is wrong, pure and simple.' Lloyd stated, he had a strict view of right and wrong, it was white or black, never grey.

'I do not need to justify our marriage to you, or anyone else here.' Jeff returned looking each and every one of his colleagues in the eye as they all avoided making contact with him.

Jeff was cross with Mel for blurting this out for all the pub and ED staff to hear especially after they had all witness them hold each other tightly. He was even more cross with Lloyd and his reaction to the revelation. Deciding he couldn't bear to look at his colleagues and their faces, he turned back to Dixie who was still staring at Cyd, moving back over to where she was, he gingerly placed his arm around her waist pulling her in.

Feeling her husband's comforting arm around her, it gave Dixie the courage she needed to break the silence.

'You are not a lesbian.'

'And you are not straight.' Cyd replied causing Dixie to look down to the floor.

'Thing change you know, people change.' She said quietly.

'Not you though Dix, you would never change who you are. You were always so sure about your sexuality whereas I was unsure about mine.'

Sensing Dixie's discomfort at the whole situation, Cyd looked over at her girlfriend and gave her a wide smile before she continued,

'I couldn't believe it when Mel said that you two were married. You told me you loved me Dixie, you told me you wanted to be with me and now you are with Jeff. You made me rethink my life, my sexuality, everything. It was what you said that made me realise that I was lying to myself about who I was, it was you that made me realise that I am gay. I stopped lying to myself Dix and it was because of you.'

Dixie looked down at the floor, she remembered what she said to Cyd, and she also remembered how she reacted, how it changed everything between them. Have I reached the right decision? Looking up at Cyd, Dixie turned to Jeff, who was looking down into her eyes, she had had enough for one night, this was one revelation too far. Dixie wanted to get out, to go home; she wasn't in the right frame of mind to engage in any conversation with Cyd, Mel or anyone else. This really wasn't what she had in mind for the evening; it had been taken out of her control.

'Take me home handsome.' She said to Jeff ignoring Cyd.

With that, Jeff nodded, slipped his hand into hers and led her out of the pub away from the whispering and gossiping of the others.

Cyd stood there watching them leave calling after her friend 'Don't lie to yourself Dixie, be honest.'

_**A / N: Thanks for reading. I think this change in direction is harder for me to write than I thought it would be. We haven't heard the last of Cyd I am afraid to say (sorry GirlWednesday).**_


	9. Chapter 9

_**A / N –Apologies for the really fluffy chapter eight, I am not sure this one is going to be much better though. I won't be able to update again until next week, probably just as well. All reviews are welcome especially if you have any ideas that I can use to help me! **_

'Bloody hell that was amazing, better than any TV I have ever watched.' Lenny was beside himself with excitement after what had unfolded in front of him. 'I cannot believe that just happened. Did that really just happen? Oh my God. AMAZING!'

'You don't need to be so happy Lenny' Zoe remarked, 'Has it escaped your attention that the private lives of two of our friends have just been hung out for all to see? Spare a moment to think about how they are feeling.'

'Hell no, why should I? I wanna know more, tell me more.'

By this time, Cyd had returned from the bar and sat next to Mel who put an arm around her placing a soft kiss on her cheek. Cyd looked crestfallen at what had just happened, she hadn't planned on that being the first conversation she had with her once best friend after five years, they didn't part on best terms before, and so, she was certain that they will not be anymore. On the other hand, she felt it was now her turn to get Dixie to be honest with herself; she wanted to repay Dixie for how she helped her see who she really was all that time ago.

'So, you two are going out then?' Lloyd asked.

'Yep, we sure are.' Mel responded

'Tonight just keeps on getting weirder, first we find out that Dixie is actually a lesbian and that her marriage to Jeff is a total sham, now I find out that you are also a lesbian dating Dixie's old friend.' Lloyd commented taking a big sip from his pint.

'What has Mel's sexuality got to do with anything?' Scarlett asked confused as to why he was bringing it up.

'Nothing, at least she is being honest about who she really is and not denying it, whereas Dixie obviously is. And Jeff, well, he should know better.'

'You have absolutely no right to judge them like that Lloyd.' Zoe chipped in. She knew Jeff and Dixie and like Noel and Big Mac knew the real reason they got married, but she was not going to sit back and let others pass judgement on them. Zoe knew that since the kiss both Jeff and Dixie were calling their relationship into question they needed support, not ridicule or gossip.

'How can you say I have no right to judge her?' Lloyd spoke up, 'I have every right. They have not only married under false pretences, but have been lying about who they really are. I think it is wrong and it is a good job we have found out.'

'Although I do not agree with what has happened, I am not prepared to take part in any character assassination. Jeff and Dixie should be here to defend themselves and tell us from their own mouths what is going on, until they are ready to do that, I will have no part in this.' Big Mac's comments were one of honesty and truth, he wasn't one to engage in petty bickering, and so, finishing his pint, he got up to leave. 'See you all tomorrow.' And with that, he was gone leaving Lloyd, Scarlett, Noel, Zoe, Lenny, Cyd and Mel to do and say whatever they felt.

'Right, Cyd, I wanna know everything.' Lenny said as soon as Big Mac was out of earshot. He was determined to know more, he was not going to let this bit of excitement disappear so easily, there has got to be at least a week's worth of piss take in this he thought. Moving in closer, he eyed Cyd in anticipation for his next fix.

'I used to work with her, here at Holby. I was an ambulance technician and would only work with Dixie.'

'Pretty much the same as how she now only seems to work with Jeff.' Mel added.

'I got a transfer, left and trained to be a Paramedic.'

'All very well and good, but I want to know more about lesbian Dixie and her marriage to straight Jeff.' Lenny had moved further forward in his seat; he didn't want to miss a thing.

'Tell them babe.' Mel encouraged. Cyd looked uncertain of what she would say, it didn't rest well with her talking about her once best friend behind her back, sharing her past with people she didn't really know, but there was a part of Cyd that was cross with Dixie, cross with her for changing who she was for a man, cross with her for lying about how she felt. 'Look, it's not as if you owe her anything is it? It is all out in the open now, you cannot say anything to this lot that won't shock them or do any more damage.' Mel pressed on sensing Cyd's hesitation.

'There isn't really much more to tell, she is a lesbian, always has been and always will be, simple as. Apart from that she was a great friend to me, she took me in when I ran away, helped me through the tough times, was with me during the good. She was the one who helped me to see who I really was, although I didn't admit it till after I left.'

'So, how did she end up being married to Jeff then?' Scarlett asked looking confused at the whole situation. Eyes by this point had turned to Zoe and Noel.

'Hey, don't look at me; I am not spilling the beans on that one.' Zoe answered as she picked up her cigarettes again heading for the door. Noel, on the other hand, looked uncertain as to what he would do, he didn't know whether to put the record straight or plead ignorance. He knew Big Mac was right, but, he was enjoying this bit of excitement.

'Noel, c'mon man, if you know tell us.' Lenny said with a grin and smirk evident for all to see, he was clearly enjoying this a little too much.

'Noel, please, if you know why they got married tell me.' Cyd requested which confused Mel no end.

'Why do you want to know?'

'Because I know Dixie and I know she isn't being true to herself at the moment after what I witnessed earlier, she must have had a reason for marrying Jeff and if I am to help her like she helped me, I need to know why.'

'Why would you want to help her?' Lloyd questioned.

'Because she is my friend. Yeah, so I haven't seen or spoken to her in the last five years, but, I know she is confused like I was, I want to help her.' Cyd returned before looking again at Noel with a certain amount of pleading in her eyes.

'Ok, I will tell you, but, it goes no further and if anyone asks, it wasn't me.'

All nodded in agreement.

'Well, Dixie went through a tough time at the end of 2008 when she accidentally ran over a kid on the Farmead Estate leaving her wheelchair bound, Jeff tried to help her through it as best he could, he bought her a dog and everything. Anyway, the family of the girl burnt down Dixie's house leaving her homeless.'

'Oh my God, how horrible.' Scarlett interrupted.

'It was, she had nowhere to go, so ended up staying at the Nurses Hostel until Jeff had had enough and told her she was moving in with him. They have been living together ever since.'

'Hang on; when I worked with them, Jeff was already married with two children.' Cyd asked, slightly confused by the whole situation.

'Yeah, apparently the wife kicked him out for cheating and they got divorced, Jeff doesn't really see his children anymore.'

'He cheated on his missus?' Lenny asked gleefully.

'Not with Dixie I hope?' Cyd added.

'Nah, not with Dix. Him and Dix are just good friends.' Noel replied.

Cyd was suddenly hit by guilt, she had no idea what Dixie had gone through, she felt guilty for not being there for her, but was glad she had Jeff to look after her.

'So, how does that all lead us to a marriage then?' Lloyd asked as Noel took a sip from his pint.

'Well, about two and a half years ago, Dixie's dad showed up out of the blue and told her he was dying of lung cancer, he didn't have long to live. He told her he wanted to see her happy and settled before he died. He mistook Jeff for her boyfriend; she never corrected him on this.'

'So she lied to her dying Dad.' Lloyd spat with utter disgust shaking his head as he did so.

'She hadn't told her Dad she was gay, she never found the right moment or words to tell him. So, she and Jeff decided to get married to please her Dad.'

'Well, if you spin a web of lies and deceit, you will only get caught up in it again.' Mel said which earned a nod of approval from Lloyd.

'Poor Dixie.' Scarlett added 'she has gone through all that but still stayed strong.'

'The thing is, her Dad found out just before he died that Dixie had lied to him and that her marriage to Jeff was a complete sham. It broke her in two, but, as always, Jeff was there to help her move on.'

Cyd turned to Mel, hurt, pain and guilt clearly written across her face, 'what have I done?' Mel pulled Cyd in for a hug to comfort her adding 'you were not to know babe, you were not to know.'

'If only I had stayed in contact with her, I could have been there for her.'

'You are here now and that is what matters.'

Noel felt slightly guilty about telling them the details of Jeff and Dixie's marriage but hoped it would go some way to clearing their names with Lloyd and Mel. However, it was all a big joke to Lenny, who was like an addict waiting for his next fix, jumping up and down in his seat with excitement.

'I am so gonna make Jeff pay for this, being married to a Lesbian. That is absolutely priceless; just wait till I tell the others.' Whipping out his phone he started to scroll through his phone book to see who he could tell first.

It was now Cyd's turn to have had enough for one night. She had found out a lot about her once best friend and felt guilty she had neglected her over the years, however, Mel was right. She was here now and Cyd was determined to get Dixie to open up to her and help her through this.

'Lenny is it?' waiting for him to nod, Cyd continued 'I don't know you from Adam, but, if you even think for one minute of spreading what you have just heard around, or going anywhere near Jeff or Dixie unless it is a professional capacity, I will make you sorry. Do you hear me? You will not taint the reputation and character of either of them unless you want it done back to you.'

Upon making her point totally clear 'and that goes for all of you.' Cyd pulled Mel up off her seat and left.

_**A / N – Thank you for reading, sorry it is a bit rubbish. The questions now remain; will Lenny take note of Cyds warning? Will Dixie want to talk to Cyd? Will she be honest with herself? The plot thickens…**_


	10. Chapter 10

Mel struggled to keep up with Cyd as they walked back to their flat, it was clear that the events of the last hour had taken their toll on her but Mel was determined to be there for her partner.

'Will you slow down a bit please babe, I am struggling to keep up with you.' Mel called after Cyd which forced her to stop. 'What's with the rush anyway' she said as she got closer to Cyd.

'I just want to go home, is that so wrong of me?' Cyd spat back at her girlfriend.

'No, but I don't see how marching home at break neck speed is going to help.'

'It is not going to help, but I just don't know what to do.' Cyd confessed. Mel took her by the hand and pulled her into a hug.

'There is nothing you can do. You just need to leave her to work things out for herself.'

'But, she is lying to herself, this isn't who she is Mel, she would never be like that, never. This isn't her. I have really let her down over the years; I need to make up for it. She has been through so much, I didn't know about the accident, her counselling, her house or her Dad, I should have been there for her Mel. Now she is married and lying to herself about who she is, I need to help her see the right path she needs to take.' Mel could hear the desperation in Cyd's voice moreover; she could see the silent pleading in her eyes.

'And how are you going to do that?' Mel responded with a softened tone in the hopes it would calm Cyd down.

'I don't know, maybe I should call in and see her at work.'

'Yeah, like I am sure she would appreciate that.'

'I need to do something.'

'I know babe. But, calling in on her at work isn't the best place to have a chat; you won't be able to get her on her own. Jeff is never far from her side and she is never far from his.'

'So what do I do then? You think I am being silly don't you?' Cyd almost sounded defeated by this point.

'No, of course I don't. If this is important to you, then do it. I will support you all the way, but, be sure that it is what you want to do and be prepared for a long and rocky ride. I don't think she will give in so easily.'

'You cannot say that, you don't know her like I do.'

'Listen, I have been at Holby now for a few weeks and she doesn't strike me as someone who changes her mind so easily but…'Mel started to trail off causing Cyd to look her girlfriend straight in the eye.

'But what?'

Mel looked uncertain as to how she would finish that sentence, she wasn't one to get too involved with relationships (unless she could use things to her advantage), especially between a man and a woman, but there was a part of her that felt for Jeff and how he will end up feeling.

'But, spare a thought for Jeff in all this Cyd. You are hell bent on getting Dixie to realise that she is lesbian through and through, just don't forget there is someone else's life and feelings on the line here as well.'

A look of realisation came over Cyd as what Mel had just said sunk in before a flash of anger shot through her eyes. 'He should know her better than anyone else to know that she is lying to herself. He should be telling her, he should not be entertaining the fact that they could be a couple. He needs to be shown just as much as she does.'

'I am sure he will tell her in his own way Cyd, all I am saying is, don't go at her all guns blazing, just remember there is more at stake here than you making up for lost time.'

Cyd lent up against a brick wall and looked at her girlfriend. She had Dixie to thank for this relationship, if Dixie hadn't have been honest about her feelings, Cyd never would have questioned her own. If Dixie hadn't made her see who she really was, she could have ended up with a husband and in an unhappy marriage. Cyd didn't want that for Dixie, she wanted to help her.

'So what shall I do then?' she asked Mel who by this time had lent up against the wall beside her.

'Why don't you text her, ask her if she wants to go out with you for a drink or something to catch up.'

'After what happened tonight, I wouldn't be surprised if she just deleted it.'

'Well, if you don't get a reply, you could walk me into work and we could go to the ambulance bay and you could ask her in person.'

'She will probably throw me out.'

'I don't think so, I reckon she was just shocked to see you again that's all, you took her by surprise. Go on babe, what have you got to lose?'

With Mel's comforting words and arm over her shoulder, Cyd flipped out her phone and wrote a message to Dixie, taking another look at her girlfriend; Cyd kissed her before hitting send. She had done her bit; the rest was up to Dixie.

Unbeknownst to Cyd, over the other side of Holby, Dixie was lying on her bed; she had the box of photos next to her as she looked at the one of her parents, the one of Jeff and the one of Cyd. She was wondering what to do. She hadn't spoken to Jeff since they had got home, deep down he knew she was in turmoil and he thought it best to leave her to it, so that is what he did. In a strange way, Dixie was glad that he had, she wasn't too sure she could face him again tonight.

Looking between all the photos again, she found herself asking more questions. This time, they were about Cyd and why she had come back, was she really a lesbian, what did she want and what did she mean by being honest with myself. She needed to talk things through, talk about her feelings, her confusions, but she wasn't too sure Jeff would be the best person to do this with. She shared so much with him, but was he really the right one to talk to? Could he remain unbiased? Was Cyd the right person to talk to? After all, they went through a lot together, but, could she remain unbiased? Dixie looked at the photo of her parents for some clue as to what to do; she was interrupted by a knock at her door. Looking up she saw Jeff stood in her doorway holding something which she needed in his hands. He knows me oh so very well.

'Thought you might need this' he said as he walked into her room placing down a mug of hot chocolate and a small plate of marshmallows and chocolate biscuits on her bedside table.

'Looks like you read my mind.' Dixie replied giving him a smile.

'You OK princess?' Jeff asked as he moved to perch himself next to Dixie on the side of her bed noticing the box and selection of photos she had on her bed.

'Yeah, I am fine mate, honestly, just been one of those days that's all.'

'You sure, because you only look in the box when there is something you are worrying about. You know I am here for you don't you and you can tell me anything.'

'I know mate, I know.'

Jeff smiled at her realising she didn't want to talk. It hurt him seeing her like this, the last thing he wanted her to do was be something she isn't. As much as he would love to have her as his wife in the conventional sense, he didn't want her to go against who she was, or what she believed. In the end, he decided to lighten the atmosphere as he leant over her and picked up the photo of her and her parents.

'Blimey, who would have thought something so small and cute would have turned into you. You look almost adorable here, what happened?'

'Oi you cheeky sod.' She replied lightly slapping him on his arm. 'I bet you were a right ugly child.'

'Nah, not me, I was cute, butter wouldn't melt in my mouth I was that angelic.'

'Yeah, I believe you, thousand wouldn't.'

Unfortunately, the light hearted mood was short lived as Dixie's phone bleeped with a message; Jeff handed it over to her and watched as the smile drained from her face.

'It's from Cyd, she wants to meet up with me.' Dixie said.

'OK, so, what do you want to do?'

'What do you think I should do?'

'I think you should do what Dixie wants to do, if you want to meet her, then meet her, if you don't, then don't.'

Dixie nodded and smiled at Jeff as she thought about how to respond to the message. Jeff, on the other hand, sensed it was time to go, so, he got up, gave her a quick pat on the leg and left her to it. Dixie watched as Jeff walked away from her before she returned to her message; she thought for a minute as to what she would write before she typed it and hit send. Looking again at the photos on her bed, she wondered if she had done the right thing, it was too late now, the message had gone.


	11. Chapter 11

_**A / N – Thank you for your reviews. I hope you enjoy this chapter, I have been skipping through series 21 of casualty to get some idea of how Dixie and Cyd would talk to each other, so, I hope I have done it justice! **_

Two days later Dixie found herself sat in the corner of Costa with a tall latte in front of her; she had arranged to meet Cyd here after responding to her text, she still wondered if she had done the right thing. Home life had been awkward between her and Jeff since the night in the pub, not so much because of the hug they shared, but mainly due to Cyd turning up and revealing she was a lesbian dating Mel, the nurse with attitude. Dixie and Jeff often spoke about why Cyd had returned and what her motives were, Jeff thought she was after a job back at Holby and was going to cause trouble, whereas Dixie didn't think Cyd would do such a thing. Dixie had been quite distant from Jeff, he knew she was worrying about meeting up with Cyd today and there was a part of him that was worried about it too, Dixie knew that although she never said it.

As she continued to wait for Cyd, Dixie fiddled with the spoon on the saucer thinking back to one of the many conversations her and Jeff had had about Cyd's return and revelation. Dixie wanted to find out what had happened to Cyd, why she left and what was going on in her head, however, Dixie was still confused as to how she felt about Jeff. She didn't want anything to upset the relationship she cherished so much.

FLASHBACK 

'_What did you decide to do in the end?' Jeff asked as Dixie placed her empty mug and plate in the dishwasher._

'_I said I would meet her.'_

'_Are you sure that is what you want Princess?'_

'_Yeah, I am sure Jeffrey.' Dixie replied bending down to stroke Lil Abs who was sat in the middle of the Kitchen. Jeff watched her closely, he had been thinking about Cyd as well, he wondered why she had come back and why she had chosen tonight and the pub to tell her once best friend she is a lesbian. Jeff worried what it might do to Dixie, what it might do to them. He had been playing over a conversation in his head, one he had with Dixie when he realised she had the hots for Cyd. He remembered trying to get her to either tell her or move on, it was also the night he confided in her about the state of his first marriage. Dixie looked up from the dog to see Jeff starting into space, he was in a world of his own, she knew he had something on his mind. _

'_You alright mate?'_

'_What? Oh, yeah fine, sorry, was in a world of my own.' _

_Dixie stood up and went to stand next to him leaning up against the worktop. 'It's been a strange night hasn't it?'_

'_It has indeed and Cyd turning up was just the icing on the cake of strange.'_

'_You're telling me. It's not every day you find out that someone you knew to be straight has turned lesbian.'_

'_Yeah it's not every day that your once close mate, who is now lesbian, walks into a pub and sees the woman who fancied her like crazy less than five years ago is married to a bloke and is standing there holding that bloke.' _

'_What do you think she is back for then?'_

'_I dunno, maybe she wants her old job back.' _

'_Do you really think so?'_

'_C'mon Dix, why else would she be back in Holby?' Jeff stared at Dixie who just shrugged her shoulders before he carried on, 'She leaves, you don't hear anything from her in nearly five years, then, all of a sudden, she comes back, jumps up from nowhere, announces to you and the pub she is a lesbian dating Mel and then wants to meet you to talk about things. I think she is up to something and considering who she is going out with, I wouldn't put it passed her to create trouble for you.' _

'_Cyd isn't like that Jeff.'_

'_You haven't seen her in years, people change you know Dix.' _

'_I'm sure I've heard that comment somewhere before.'_

'_You have, you said it to me after that boy Luke died. Listen Dix, I am worried about you and I don't want to see you get hurt that's all.' _

'_I will be fine Jeff, I can look after myself you know.' _

_Jeff nodded before looking up at the clock on the wall. 'Right, time for bed I think, we start work at 8 tomorrow, so, we better call it a night.' Dixie nodded as Jeff pulled her in for their usual goodnight hug, as he did, he felt the overwhelming urge to kiss her, as much as it pained him, he pushed that urge to the back of his mind and held her close to him. The hug seemed to go on for a long time, it wasn't the usual quick hug then off to bed, but, for the second time that night, they stood in each other's arms for a prolonged period of time, neither wanting to break the contact they had. _

'Can I get you another?'

Dixie was pulled from her thoughts by Cyd.

'Oh, was miles away there, hello sweetie heart, good to see you again.'

'Likewise Dix, I wasn't sure if you were going to reply to my text or delete it, so I was really happy that you agreed to meet. What made you choose here?'

'Me and Jeff come here before we do the shopping.'

'Oh, right, he's not going to pop up from behind that post over there is he?' Cyd remarked pointing to behind Dixie and smiling.

'No, he has gone to do the shopping; he will be back later though to pick me up.' Dixie replied before taking another sip of her latte, 'so, how you been keeping kid?'

'Not too bad thanks, passed my Paramedics exam.'

'Yeah, that's amazing, well done you. I always thought you would make a great paramedic.'

Cyd managed to raise at smile at her friend before she spoke, she wanted to know how Dixie had been, wanted to hear it from her about the Farmead, her Dad, her marriage to Jeff, her feelings, but, before she could, Dixie spoke up again.

'So, what brings you back to Holby then? I thought you had left this place for good.'

'Yeah, so did I, but things change Dixie, you should know that better than anyone else.'

Dixie didn't know how to respond to that, so, she just stared at her latte hoping it might give her some answers. Cyd noticed this had touched a nerve, she didn't want to upset her friend, so, sitting down opposite her, she decided to move the conversation on.

'So, you still working at Holby then?'

'Yeah, still there, still the same as when you left.'

'Bet you have seen some people come and go though haven't you?'

'Well, you know Holby, it likes change.'

'You and Jeff could become part of the furniture you two have been there that long.'

'Oi, don't be cheeky, we are not that old missus.'

'Seriously Dix, what have you been up to?'

'Not a lot really love, I haven't got much to show for the last five years.'

'I am sure you have. Humour me; give me the life of Kath Dixon in five sentences, one per year.'

'Collier.'

'hmmm.'

'My name is Kath Collier now.'

Cyd stared open mouthed at Dixie who was looking straight into her face. Noticing the shock on Cyd, Dixie decided to play her at her own game.

'You want my life in five sentences, well, here you are: 1. Ran over a kid on the way back from a shout on the Farmead Estate. 2. Got my house burnt down by her family. 3. Jeff bought me a Labrador called Lil Abs. 4. Jeff moved in with me. 5. To make my Dad proud of me before he died, Jeff and I married, so that is why I am Kath Collier now, not Kath Dixon.' Cyd continued to stare at Dixie, 'so, as you can see, I haven't really got up to much over the last five years. What about you?'

'You took his name?'

'Sorry, what was that?'

'You married Jeff and took his name.'

'Why wouldn't I take his name? I am his wife.'

'Dix, this isn't like you at all. You would never have changed your name for anyone.'

'It's just a surname Cyd, it is no big deal.'

'Is that who you are now then, Mrs Collier, not Miss Dixon?'

'Cyd, I am still the same person I was, just a little older and with a different surname.'

'You have turned into a wife, I can see you have.'

'What on earth do you mean by that?' Dixie was getting a little bit annoyed with Cyd and her reaction to her marriage to Jeff; she had no right to question her decisions and actions, especially after what Cyd had done.

'Dix look at yourself. You have grown your nails, something you would never have done before. You have grown your hair as well. You never liked long hair, you said it was too girly and you would never do that. The peroxide has been toned down and you are even wearing jewellery for Christ's sake. You have turned into a wife.'

'Cyd, I have grown up, I haven't done this because I am married.'

'Then why have you done it?'

'Listen love, you are hardly whiter than white holier than thou. If we are going to turn this into a 'what have you done that for' conversation, try this one for size. You made a decision to transfer out of Holby without talking to me about it, you told me you couldn't give me what I wanted and left me on my own. Yeah, so I have gone through some rough times over the years, but guess what Jeff has been there for me all the time, he has been there to pick me up when I have been down, hug me when I cry, make me laugh when I am sad. Where were you Cyd? You were off making a new life for yourself, new friends, new places, oh, and a new sexuality to go with it.'

'That's not fair Dixie and you know it.'

'Why have you come back Cyd? Were you hoping I would give you a job and we could be partners again like before? Or, have you come to question my friendship and marriage to Jeff?'

'You were the one Dixie who made me realise who I was. Your revelation to me after I was bitten by the snake, you told me you were in love with me Dix, you made me see that I was lying to myself about who I really was. I was happy with Greg, but I wasn't happy with him. You made me rethink everything I had and would ever have.'

'So what, do you think you need to make me see sense now then? Do you think I need a talking to about my life?'

'Do you need to see sense?'

'Cyd, you walked out on me five years ago, you left me on my own. You told me you would never be able to make me happy.'

'And Jeff makes you happy does he? C'mon Dixie, don't lie to yourself, you cannot really be happy with Jeff.'

'Who says I am not? I bet Mel has put you up to this.'

'You leave Mel out of this Dixie; it has nothing to do with her.'

'So why are you really here Cyd, what made you come back to Holby, what do you want from me?'

'I want you to be honest with me and tell me how you are feeling.'

'Right now, bloody pissed off with you. Jeff was right, this meeting was a mistake.'

'That is not what I meant and you know it. How could you think I am back here to get a job and cause you trouble? You have moved on with your life and I have with mine Dix.'

'So, why are you so interested in me and Jeff then?'

'I don't want you to make the mistakes I did by lying to yourself.'

'I am not lying to myself sweetheart.' Dixie said softly, the conversation had got a little heated and made her feel even more uncomfortable. It was time to move on and talk civilly to one another.

'Do you love him?'

'Yes I do, we have been through so much together Cyd, he has been there for me and I have been there for him when he got divorced from Lucy, when he went through a traumatic experience while we were on a shout, when Polly and Curtis died. We have shared so much, how can I not love him.'

'But do you love him?'

Dixie looked down at her empty glass, how can I truthfully answer that when I cannot be honest with myself? Getting up from her chair, she pulled out her purse from her bag.

'Fancy another?'


	12. Chapter 12

_**A / N: Thank you again for the reviews. Much appreciated. Well, back to it, the saga continues. I have tried to do something a little risky here, I thought I would carry on Dixie's conversation with Cyd but intersperse a conversation between Jeff and Zoe. Two going on at the same time – a recipe for writing disaster methinks. Sorry if it is really fluffy. **_

Dixie returned to the table putting two latte's down in front of her and Cyd before she returned to her seat.

'Dix, do you love him?'

'Of course I do, I said I loved him didn't I.'

'You know that is not what I meant. Come on Dixie, this isn't you; you don't like men in that sense. What changed for you?'

Dixie played with her napkin again, 'Jeff'

Cyd didn't know what to say at that point, she was shocked at what Dixie had just said to her. Had she really changed?

'I remember when you two first met.' Cyd said, 'you couldn't stand him, you said he was lazy, arrogant and just there to annoy. You said he was one of the most unprofessional people you had ever worked with. You even said you pitied his wife.'

Dixie smiled, 'yeah, I remember. He is still lazy, I have to nag him to get anything done around the house, and he is still a little arrogant. One thing he isn't though is unprofessional. I did pity his wife; I didn't think I would end up being that wife though.'

'Dix, please don't lie to me or yourself anymore, I know we haven't got off on the right foot, but, all I want to do is help you. Please, talk to me, what is going on in your head'

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Jeff raced around ASDA on a mission, he needed to get everything on the list, pay, get it home and put away before he met with Zoe. He had called her after dropping Dixie off at Costa's, he needed to talk to someone and figured she would be the best person as he had already opened up to her in the pub the other night. He had thought about his other options, Dylan – about as sensitive as a house brick, Lenny, Lloyd and Scarlett wouldn't understand and the last person he would talk to would be Mel, he blamed her for this entire thing.

As he was loading the shopping into the car, his thoughts turned to Dixie, he wondered what her and Cyd would be talking about and whether she would be alright. He knew she was concerned about the meeting and Cyd's reasons for coming back, and so was he. Jeff didn't really trust Mel or Cyd, he hadn't really forgiven Cyd for her reaction towards Dixie when she left Holby initially. He had to put up with her mood for a good few days afterwards; he hoped it wouldn't appear again, he didn't like it when Dixie was sad.

He finished loading the shopping into the car carefully placing a large bouquet of flowers on top as he shut the boot. He wasn't one for big gestures, not with Lucy (unless he was feeling guilty) and certainly not with Dixie. She could see straight through him in an instant. He didn't know what possessed him to buy the flowers, but figured she would need some cheering up. He planned to leave them on her bed with a little note for when she got home.

About 45 minutes later, Jeff pulled up outside the ED; Zoe was working, but had arranged to meet him in her lunch break. As he parked up, he noticed her sat in the Peace Garden enjoying a cigarette. Even now, Jeff wondered if he had made the right choice about talking to Zoe, but he couldn't talk to Dixie about it, not yet anyway.

'Those things are gonna kill ya eventually' he said as he approached her sitting opposite her on the next bench.

'Well, at least I will go doing something I love. You want one?'

'God no, Dix would murder me if she smelt cigarette on me.'

'Is she likely to get that close to you to find out?' Zoe replied with a mischievous wink.

'She doesn't need to; she has a sixth sense for it all. She will know, trust me.' Jeff replied 'Cheers for meeting up with me Zo, I appreciate it.'

'No worries, I figured you might need someone to talk to especially after the other night in the pub.'

'Yeah, that was one strange night wasn't it?'

'You can sure say that again.' Taking a long drag on her cigarette, Zoe continued, 'let's think about it for a minute, we have a conversation about how you are feeling about your best friend, you tell me you love her, Mel show us and annoys you, which let's face it, she has developed quite a knack for that.'

Jeff nodded in agreement before Zoe continued again.

'You turn round; come face to face with a very nervous looking Dixie who you then proceed to pull into a tight hug in front of everyone. I really thought you two were going to be honest with each other, but then, blaam, Cyd shows up, spoils it and leaves the pair of you in turmoil.'

Jeff nodded again.

'So, what's the issue now then Jeff?'

Jeff sighed and readjusted himself, how was he going to explain this to Zoe? He realised he needed to talk it out loud with someone, hear their point of view, but he wasn't too sure Dixie would approve of their marriage being spoken about so openly. Thinking that it wouldn't hurt, he decided to start talking.

'Cyd turning up has made things worse between us, Dix is distant with me now, and I know she is worrying about things, I really do, but, she won't let me in to help her.'

'Have you been honest with her?'

'No', Jeff said quietly.

'So, why do you expect her to open up to you when you won't open up to her either? Christ, you two need your heads banging together.'

'If only it was that simple, how do you tell a lesbian that you married to please her dying father that after two and a half years and a kiss you are starting to feel something different for her? How do I tell her without upsetting her and ruining what we have that I really do love her? But, by the same token, I have always told her I want her to be happy, I have always told her I want her to be who she is and change for no one. I know it is impossible for us to be together in that sense, but, I am finding it hard to push it to the back of my mind.'

Zoe eyed Jeff closely, she could tell from his face and eyes that he is in turmoil; she could tell that this isn't going to be easy to solve. How do I advise him? It is not as though I am an expert on relationships straight or otherwise, my track record isn't great.

'Let me ask you something, will you be happy to stay with her as you are now ignoring your true feelings for her? Jeff you two clearly love each other, she loves you and you love her, so, do something about it.'

Sensing Jeff's discomfort at the whole thing, Zoe decided a bit of role play was in order.

'Right, let's pretend I am Dixie for a minute, you have got her home this afternoon, you are in the front room on the sofa, what are you going to say to her?'

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'My head is a mess Cyd, it really is.'

'Dix, talk to me, tell me what is going on, please.' Cyd leant forward placing her hand on Dixie's arm, she had intended it to be comforting, but instead Dixie looked down at it and pulled her arm away.

'Do you remember when you were bitten by the snake?'

'Yeah.'

'When you were in Resus, I told you that I couldn't do it without you and that I loved you. I poured out my soul to you that day; I told you I was in love with you.'

'Dixie, what are you getting at?'

'I took Jeff's advice and told you how I was feeling about you, I was completely honest with you Cyd and look what it did to our friendship. You didn't want to work with me after that and when we did we argued, you left Holby three weeks later telling me that you couldn't give me what I wanted and that we were not making each other happy. My being honest spoilt our friendship.'

'Dixie, I was confused and shocked that's all.'

'But look what happened, I lost a friend because of my feelings. Cyd I missed you like crazy and I felt really awful for what happened. It took me ages to get over you, it really did. I don't want the same to happen to me and Jeff.'

Dixie took in a deep breath before she continued, she could see that Cyd was looking a little bit guilty, Dixie didn't want her to.

'Sweetie Heart, I am not blaming you for reacting how you did, I am just saying that, from my point of view, me being honest spoilt what we had. If I am honest with Jeff and he doesn't feel the same way, it will spoil what we have. I can't lose him Cyd, I really can't.'

Cyd looked up at her friend and could see one thing in her eyes, she knew Dixie had made her mind up; she had worked out how she was feeling, she just had to figure out how she was going to help her now.

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'You cannot be serious Zoe.'

'Deadly.'

'This is stupid. I am not going to sit here pretending you are Dixie, it's just madness.'

'No, what is madness is you two not being honest with each other.'

Jeff sighed, he knew Zoe was right, it was laughable that two people who shared everything with each other would be so reluctant to talk to each other about their feelings.

'If only that stupid stunt in the staffroom hadn't of happened, we would be fine me and Dix.'

'You cannot seriously tell me that you didn't feel this way about her before you kissed her?'

'I dunno, I guess deep down I did, but the kiss just brought it out into the open.'

'I think the kiss was long overdue.'

'You what?'

'I am being serious Jeff, I watched you two in the pub a few weeks back, and you were both pretty drunk. The pair of you got very close at several points.'

'Doesn't mean we would have done anything, we have been hammered before.'

'Yeah, but this was different. You had your arm around her waist and she had her hand on the top of your leg.'

'So'

'So, what I am getting at is that you did actually kiss her before the staff room stunt, you two were just so pissed to remember it. Look, I took a photo.'

Zoe got out her phone and there it was in techni colour, Jeff did indeed kiss her.

'Oh my God.' Was all Jeff could muster.

'So, back to it, I am Dixie, tell me what you are thinking.'


	13. Chapter 13

_**A / N – This may be the last update for a little while as the next couple of weeks are really busy for me. I will update again as soon as I can though. I have carried on the conversations from the last chapter here. **_

'Is that what you are worried about? Losing Jeff?' Cyd asked as she processed what Dixie had said to her. Cyd had seen it in her eyes that Dixie had made her mind up about how she was feeling, but she could tell that she was now worried about what to do.

'You don't get it do you?'

'What do you mean by that?'

'You will never understand the relationship we have Cyd, never. I know he annoyed me when we first met, but, over the years, I have shared so much with him. I cannot lose him; I couldn't cope with losing him.'

'He will understand Dix, if he is who you say he is, he will understand.'

'You mean like you did?' Dixie spat back at Cyd.

'Dix that's not fair. I was in a different place back then, you cannot throw this back on me.'

'Can't I? Tell me why you did what you did Cyd. Why did you push me away? Why did you leave me on my own? Tell me.'

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'I bought her flowers you know.' Jeff said after a long silence. He was still holding Zoe's phone in his hand looking at the picture she had taken of him and Dixie. 'I don't know why I did it, I just walked passed them saw them and thought she would like them.'

'And who said romance was dead?' Zoe replied lighting another cigarette.

'I didn't get them as a romantic gesture, she would see right through me.' Jeff let out a little chuckle, 'I remember the last time I bought her flowers. I had stayed out too late in the pub one night and had forgotten about picking her up from work. She had to walk home after I didn't answer my phone. Took her ages, she got absolutely soaked. When I got home, she was sat on the stairs, soaked right through with the dog resting on her lap. I got a right telling off for that, but I couldn't stop laughing. As she was having a go, she was shaking from head to toe she was that cold. In the end, she stopped shouting at me and went off for a bath, I felt pretty bad for that, so, I thought I would make it up to her, took the dog out for a walk and bought her flowers and chocolate.'

'Was she grateful or did it all get thrown back at you. I mean that literally of course.'

'She stared at me, muttered something about me feeling guilty and that she hadn't forgiven me yet. But I knew she had, I could see it in her eyes, she couldn't stay mad at me.'

'So what are you worried about this time then? Give her the flowers, tell her you love her, tell her you think she is amazing, and kiss her. Easy.'

'Christ if I did that, she would knock me out. This is Dixie we are talking about after all.'

'Jeff, you need to do something and do it quickly the longer you leave it to tell someone the truth the more it will hurt when it eventually comes out. Take it from someone who knows.'

Jeff looked up and eyed her quizzically.

'Oh, come on, you cannot be serious.' Zoe replied noticing Jeff's expression. 'All I am saying is that I have experience of that. I told Nick I was pregnant when I wasn't, he found out the hard way, my lies only made it worse. I rejected a marriage proposal in the worst way ever. If you don't tell her soon how you are really feeling, things are going to get difficult between you.'

'And if I do tell her how I am feeling and she doesn't feel the same, things are going to get difficult for us two. I am in a no win situation.'

Letting out a big sigh and taking a long drag, Zoe looked at her watch, she only had 10 minutes left so needed to make this quick. 'OK, this is what you need to do, now take note of what I am going to tell you and do exactly as I say, got it?'

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'Dixie, this isn't going to help.' Cyd was almost pleading with her. She didn't want to bring up the past anymore, she wanted to talk about the now and future. She couldn't understand why Dixie was doing this.

'It will help me. I cannot make the same mistake again; Jeff means more to me than anyone, you meant more to me than anyone. I need to know why you blocked me out.'

'It is hard to explain Dix.'

'Well try. It was hard for me to be honest with you Cyd, but I did it.'

'You were also quick to deny it if I recall correctly.'

'Don't change the subject; tell me why you did it Cyd.'

'Greg and I were going through a rough patch, I wasn't happy with him anymore, I wasn't really happy with my life in Holby anymore. I wanted a change you know, I wanted to see what was out there, meet new people. I felt trapped. When I was lying there in Resus not knowing what was going to happen, I was full of regret for all the things I hadn't done. I made a promise to myself, if I survived, I would put me first and do what I wanted to do.'

Cyd took a moment to compose herself before continuing. She could see Dixie looking at her, her expression had started to soften a little, but she was clearly still in turmoil.

'When you said you were in love with me and you couldn't do this without me, it sent me on a whirlwind of emotions. You are my friend and I love you as a friend, but, I didn't love you anymore than that. It really confused me, I was confused at how I was feeling towards Greg and now I was confused at how I felt about you.'

Dixie didn't take her eyes off Cyd while she was talking. It was the first time she had heard Cyd's side of the story as to why she left, she hoped that by hearing Cyd open up to her, it might help her open up to Jeff.

'What you said to me Dixie made me rethink everything about my life and who I was. I couldn't bear to be near you or Greg anymore. I needed to go, have time on my own and sort myself out. You made me rethink everything Dixie, I was so confused, so scared and so unsure of who I was. I needed to go, that's why I left. The next few months were hard for me, I started a new job in a new hospital, had to get myself a new place and everything. I had a chance to start over again, make a fresh new life for myself to be who I wanted to be. I had other boyfriends Dix, but I didn't feel anything for them. I didn't seem to feel the same about men anymore after what you said.'

'Cyd, I am so sorry, I didn't know, I really didn't think….'

'I am not trying to upset you Dixie, I am just being honest with you as you were with me. Yes it did have an affect on our friendship but only because I was confused. When I figured out that I felt the same way, I wanted to contact you, tell you, but I couldn't. I came back to Holby to see you, I watched you at work with Jeff one day, you looked happy Dixie, so happy. I didn't want to stop you from getting on with your life, so I left again. Shortly after, I met Mel and I couldn't be happier Dixie.'

'You came back to look for me all that time ago.'

'Yeah, I did, but, you had moved on and so have I. You will always have a special place in my heart Dix, but I love Mel so very much. It took me time to figure out how I was feeling and what I was going to do, I didn't make a rash decision and you shouldn't either.'

'I have done nothing but think about it for the last few days ever since we kissed on one of Mel's charity stunts. I don't want to hurt him Cyd like I hurt you.'

'Dixie, I haven't come back to Holby to mess with your head or your friendship with Jeff. I came because Mel got a job here and I am starting at St James' soon. I am not here to pick up from where we left off Dixie, too much has changed, but I am here for you.'

Dixie sighed, she already knew how she felt, but she didn't know what to do,

'What do I do Cyd? How am I going to talk to him about this?'

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'Have you got all that?' Zoe asked a very overwhelmed looking Jeff.

'Think so, do you really think this is going to work?'

'Trust me, although she presents herself as a lady not to be messed with, she will love it.'

'Yeah, there is a part of me that isn't so sure Princess. I never did anything like this with Lucy, I get the feeling I will be out cold after five minutes though with Dixie.'

'Just stick to the plan and you will not fail. It works for me every time and if you do it correctly, you will have a great evening' Zoe said giving Jeff a wink as she got up and headed back into the hospital.

Jeff sat there for a few more minutes reading over the instructions he had been given. It seemed like a lot of effort, and although bits of it felt right, he wasn't too sure Dixie would go for it. She wasn't that type of woman and their relationship had never been about this before. Thinking it wouldn't hurt to give some of it a try; he folded up the piece of paper, placed it into his pocket and walked back to the car. He had some work to do before he went back to collect Dixie, everything hinged on him getting it right and Dixie feeling the same.

'God I hope she does and Cyd hasn't wrecked it all over again.'

_**A / N – Thanks for reading and I appreciate your support. I will update again as soon as I can depending on how the next couple of weeks go. **_


	14. Chapter 14

**A / N – Again, so very sorry it has taken me an age to update. Thank you for your support in your reviews, much appreciated. **

'Well, of all the faces I was expecting you to be pulling when you came home, I wasn't expecting that one.' Mel said as Cyd walked into their kitchen placing a kiss on her cheek before sitting up on the opposite worktop. 'You have been gone for ages, how did it go?'

Cyd paused to think for a minute, it hasn't gone badly, Dixie hadn't shouted at her and stormed off, but, equally, it hadn't quite gone according to plan either. Cyd had an aim in mind for the day, that was to get Dixie to realise who she really was, she couldn't really say if she had achieved that or not.

'Well, I suppose you could say it wasn't a complete disaster, but it also wasn't an amazing success.'

'Oh, that doesn't bode well.' Mel said as she began slicing vegetables for their dinner.

'Yeah, it was odd really; it was like I was talking to her, but at the same time it felt like I didn't really know her.'

'You haven't seen her for nearly five years Cyd, it was bound to be a little bit awkward especially with your own sexual revelation thrown in for added spice.'

'I wasn't expecting it to be easy, but, there were little things that she said which just made me feel like I didn't really know her.'

'Like what.'

'I asked her to sum up her life in five sentences, I said I wanted to know what Kath Dixon had been up to, she corrected me, she took his name Mel, she changed her identity, even her bank card and driver's license said Collier.'

'She is married to him babe.'

'Yeah, but she used to say she would always stay as Kath Dixon no matter what. Something must have made her change.'

'Maybe she just did it out of kindness.'

'No, she didn't, I think she enjoys being Kath Collier more than she thinks.' Cyd said looking down at the floor. Mel sensed her girlfriend was having trouble coming to terms with the day's events, leaving the vegetables on the chopping board; she jumped up on the worktop to join her placing an arm over her shoulders.

'It was the way she corrected me though Mel, it was like she had completely closed the door on Kath Dixon. She said that Jeff had been there for her, supported her, made her laugh when she was sad, and held her when she cried. He has been her rock for all those years Mel, maybe I got it all wrong.'

'Are you saying that you think she really has changed? '

'She never actually said that. She skated around that pretty well. She is scared though. Scared that if she tells Jeff how she is really feeling that it would end their friendship, marriage or whatever you want to call it. She really cares about him.'

'Does she not think he will be supportive then?'

'No, I think she is still hurt by what happened between us. Dix told me she loved me and I ran a mile. She doesn't want the same to happen to her and Jeff.'

'She cannot stay in a marriage with someone who is the wrong gender and who she doesn't want to be with just because she worries about how they would react.'

Cyd contemplated what Mel had said before replying, her voice barely above a whisper, 'I think she is just scared, she is no good at being on her own. It wasn't just that though, she spoke about him a lot, everything she has done and been through he has been with her. I don't think she does anything on her own anymore.'

'That doesn't sound healthy at all.'

'No, I know.' Cyd sighed heavily, this wasn't Dixie and she knew it.

'So what now then babe?'

'Oh, I dunno. Short of banging her head against a wall, hypnotherapy, I don't know what else to do. On a positive, she did agree to meet with me again; she said it would be good to catch up more.'

Mel jumped off the worktop as Cyd spoke. She felt guilty for the whole situation, she hadn't realised the relationship Jeff and Dixie had when she talked them into her fundraiser. She hadn't realised how Cyd would take it knowing her once best friend was now married to a man. Mel thought that she needed to help Cyd show Dixie who she really was. It wasn't going to be easy by the sound of it, but she needed to do something.

'Cyd?' Mel asked unsure of what she was suggesting herself, but felt she needed to suggest it.

'What.'

'Why don't you invite Dixie to come out with us to Saturn Moon at the weekend?'

'Why?'

'Well, I was thinking maybe if she was in that sort of environment, she could see if she was still a lesbian or whether she had changed.'

'I am not sure she will come.'

'Try, she might, you could say that we were going, she could bring someone if she wanted to in case she felt like the odd one out, but not Jeff. It is about time she did something without him being permanently attached to her side.'

'Mel, what are you thinking?' Cyd knew her partner and knew it wouldn't just be a night out.

'Well, we could set her up with a few people and see what happens. If she sees someone she likes then it could help her come to terms with her feelings. We could get someone to kiss her, spoil her and all that.'

Cyd thought for a moment, before she realised that it wasn't actually a bad idea. If Dixie couldn't verbalise how she was feeling, maybe a trip to the local gay bar was in order. Jumping off the worktop herself, Cyd planted a kiss on Mel's face.

'You are an utter genius. What did I do to deserve you?' she said as she left the room shouting back, 'I am gonna text her then jump in the bath before dinner.'

Mel smiled, she was glad Cyd was happy and also pleased that she would be helping her to help her friend. All she needed to do was work out which of their friends she was going to set Dixie up with. Mel was certain that Dixie would come and that by being in the company of other lesbians, she would feel at home being finally truthful with herself.

Cyd sat on the stairs with her phone typing up a text to Dixie; she didn't have to wait long for a reply. Smiling to herself, Cyd went off for a bath. She might just be able to get the old Dixie back yet.

_**A / N – Sorry this is a short one, but I didn't want to cram too much into it nor did I want to pick up the story with Jeff and Dixie straight away. Thank you to GirlWednesday who gave me the idea of a gay bar although I have thought of a slight twist for it, so I hope you enjoy it when I get round to updating again. **_


	15. Chapter 15

_**A / N – Sorry for the long gap between updates, here is the next one for you**_.

'Dix, are you sure this is a good idea?' Jeff asked while stuffing his face with lasagne.

'What?'

'You know what. Going out with Cyd tonight.'

'Why wouldn't it be a good idea?'

'I dunno, I am just not too sure about what she is really after and you know my feelings on her significant other.' Jeff said as he continued to shovel in his dinner.

Dixie watched Jeff as he continued to munch on his dinner, she found herself wondering if he did have a point or not. She had to admit herself to being a little confused as to why Cyd had invited her out especially after their chat earlier on that week hadn't been quite as amicable as she would have liked. She felt bad for snapping at her once best friend, and she had to admit that since they spoke, she was even more confused about who she was. It was true to say, her emotions were in turmoil. Maybe a night out was what she needed.

'Jeff, I will be fine. I can take care of myself. Anyway, I thought you would relish the thought of a night without me.'

'Hmmmm , you make a good point Mrs Collier.'

'Right, I better go and get ready,' Dixie announced as she got up from the table, 'You mind clearing up love?'

'You're cutting it fine aren't you? She is picking you up in an hour; I don't think our bathroom is that much of a miracle worker.' Jeff remarked smiling at his wife's expression.

'Cheeky Beggar.'

It was now Jeff's turn to watch as she walked down the hall. He was finding it harder and harder to suppress his true feelings for her, but he was concerned as to what Cyd and Mel had planned for Dixie tonight. She did deserve a night out, but she didn't deserve to be the subject of jokes or a set up. Since his conversation with Zoe, Jeff hadn't followed her plan but had kept it close to him, he had settled on his feelings towards Dixie, he loved her more than a friend but still didn't want to hurt her. Taking the list out of his pocket again, he re read it still wondering if Dixie would go along with any of it. His eyes settled on one thing, thinking it would be good to test the waters with that, he decided he would go for it nevertheless.

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'What do you mean you are not coming?' Cyd stated as Mel was putting on her shoes. 'We agreed that we were both going to take Dixie out tonight, not just me.' Cyd was annoyed, Mel had been called into work as Scarlett had called in sick, so, couldn't come to Saturn Moons.

'Babe, I cannot do anything about it. Tess really needs me in.'

'But why did it have to be tonight? Mel, I don't think I can do this on my own.'

'Yes you can babe, if anyone can do it, you can. Look, it has all been sorted, you are going to pick Dixie up and take her to the club. Tanya will be there and will come over to make a fuss of Dixie, and then it is out of your hands and in hers.' Mel said quite matter of factly before placing a passionate kiss on Cyd before leaving for work.

Cyd stood in the hallway, Mel had arranged the set up with Tanya and although it didn't quite rest too well with Cyd, she had to do something to stop Dixie making a big mistake. 'Right, time to go.' She said to herself checking over her make up in the mirror before leaving the flat herself.

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Dixie felt slightly out of place walking into the club with Cyd, she was at least 10 years younger than her and by the looks of it, everyone in the club was as well. She suddenly felt old and almost as if she didn't belong in there. She looked around at all the people, she knew it was a gay bar and she knew she should feel at home here, but, something was stopping her from relaxing, someone else was on her mind.

Cyd brought them both a drink and they headed for a booth in the corner, Dixie didn't feel like dancing at the moment, she was just happy watching everyone.

'So, why did you bring me here then kid, I feel old enough to be their parents.' Dixie joked as she took a sip of her wine.

'Shut up Dixie, you are not that old.'

'I am in my forties Cyd, I am old.'

'You look great, age doesn't matter. Anyway, Mel and I come here quite a lot, I like the atmosphere, you know, how everyone can be who they really are and not be judged.' Her words were poignant and so relevant to her mission with Dixie, Cyd wondered if she had picked up on it.

'I know what you mean, but I am not sure this is me anymore.'

'Why not?'

'I haven't been out to a club for at least four years; the most enjoyment I get is a night out at the Pub with Jeff, takeaway and a cheesy film.'

'Do you do everything with him?' Cyd didn't know why she asked that, but there was a hint of not jealousy but discontent in her voice.

'Pretty much. Seems weird being out without him, but, good at the same time.' Dixie paused to glance around the room while she drank more of her wine before she continued, 'I guess it isn't healthy being with the same person all of the time, but, I do like spending my days in his company.'

'You are right, it isn't healthy, but, you are out with me now, so, I agree not to mention Mel if you agree not to mention Jeff.'

Dixie nodded causing Cyd to raise a smile. She was determined to get Dixie to realise who she really was, even if it did mean setting her up. Looking around the club, Cyd spotted Tanya coming towards her; it was now time to put the plan into motion.

'Hey Cyd, I haven't seen you in here for ages.'

'Oh, Tanya! Hi, how are you?' Cyd replied getting up to give her a hug.

'Oh you know me, same old same old. No Mel tonight?'

'No, she had to work, so I am here with my friend.' Cyd replied pointing towards Dixie who smiled back at Tanya.

'I was just going to ask you who this gorgeous person was.' Tanya replied before approaching Dixie, 'I had better introduce myself, I am Tanya, and can I just say, you look beautiful.'

Dixie found herself blushing at the compliments before replying, 'Nice to meet you Tanya, I'm Dixie.'

'Dixie, that's a cute name to go with a cute face.' Tanya said sitting down next to her on the booth while Cyd sat back on the opposite side. Cyd knew Tanya was forthcoming in what she said, but hoped she didn't go too over the top.

'It's a nickname really; people called me that after my surname – Dixon, although it doesn't really go anymore.'

'Dixie Dixon, what a combination.' Tanya commented.

''Actually I'm….' before she could complete the sentence, she was cut off by Cyd.

'Fancy another drink Dix? Same again?'

'What, Oh, yeah, cheers love.'

'So Dixie Dixon, how do you know Cyd?'

'I used to work with her here in Holby.'

'Oh, so you work for the Ambulance trust as well, bet you look hot in your uniform. I do love a lady in a uniform; there is something incredibly alluring about them. Don't you think?'

'Yeah, guess so.' Dixie was starting to get a little uncomfortable but played along nevertheless.

'So, Dixie Dixon, you seeing anyone at the moment?'

Dixie was taken aback by this, she had only just met this woman and she was already probing into her life.

'Not really.'

'Young free and single then?'

'Well, I wouldn't say young.'

'Just free and single then.'

'Not really sure about that either.'

Dixie was never more relieved to see Cyd coming back with the drinks, but, that didn't stop Tanya. She had been primed by Mel so she knew that Dixie's surname wasn't Dixon, she knew that she was married and living with a man, she also knew that Dixie was confused over her feelings towards her so called husband. Tanya's goal for the night? To make Dixie see who she really was no matter what it took.

Placing her hand on the top of Dixie's leg, Tanya turned to her, 'So, I think we need to work on changing your single status tonight, don't you? I want to get to know the real Dixie Dixon.'

**A / N – So sorry this is really naff. I have my head in other things at the moment and I feel that my story writing is losing its way. The ending isn't what I planned for, but, it gave me another idea for the next chapter although I do not know when I will be able to upload it. Sorry. **


	16. Chapter 16

Jeff walked through the doors of the ED and scanned the place quickly. He was there for one reason and one reason only. To speak to one person and one person only. No one was going to get in his way. He had a million thoughts racing through his mind, but he had decided, enough was enough he was going to get to the bottom of what Mel and Cyd wanted. He couldn't bear the thought of Dixie being humiliated, she was going through enough already.

'Alright Jeff mate.' Noel called over as Jeff slowly walked towards the desk. 'You OK, looking for someone?'

'Yeah, is Mel on tonight?'

'Yeah, she is. Scarlett called in sick, so Mel is here covering. I think she is in the staff room.'

'Cheers.' Jeff responded as he moved to walk away.

'Jeff are you alright?' Noel called after him clearly concerned as to what Jeff wanted with Mel, he knew that he couldn't stand her.

'Yeah, fine.'

Jeff practically stormed off to the staff room; he was clearly on a mission. Mel had no idea what was coming, she was busy leaning up against the breakfast bar stirring a mug of coffee in a world of her own when the door burst open.

'Jeff, what are you doing here?' she asked shocked at his overly dramatic entrance.

'Right, I am not going to mess about; I want to know what you are playing at?'

'You are going to have to give me some clue as to what you are on about here.'

'You know damn well what I am on about.' Jeff retorted turning to shut the door behind him.

'Jeff, I have no idea.' Mel replied as she moved to sit down with the coffee. She had a feeling he was here to talk about Dixie, but, she wasn't going to make it too easy for him.

'Mel, I am not in the mood. I know you and Cyd have got something planned for Dixie and I want to know what it is.'

'Why are you so concerned?'

'She is my wife and I love her.' Jeff returned which made Mel nearly choke on her coffee.

'She may be your wife but I doubt very much that your love is reciprocated.'

Jeff didn't really know how to respond to that one. Deep down he knew Mel was right; he did love Dixie and knew that she loved him, but, she loved him in a different way. Their love was built in friendship and trust, it was never romantic. Jeff knew that the feelings he now had for Dixie would not be returned in the way he hoped, but there was still a part of him that wanted to hold onto the fact that Dixie was starting to come around to that way of feeling. No matter how she felt, he couldn't let her be made the laughing stock of some prank, it could destroy her.

'Listen Mel, I know we have got off on the wrong foot, but, I really care about her. I know she is confused and trying to figure out who she is. Mel, she is vulnerable at the moment, I don't want her being the butt of someone's practical joke. It isn't fair.'

For the first time Mel studied Jeff's face, she took in his concern and obvious worry. She recognised something in him that she and Cyd had simply ignored, it was true love. Mel knew that Jeff wouldn't have come over if he wasn't worried, he was an intelligent man who knew what was going on, she had to be honest with him, she owed him that much. For the first time, Mel truly saw that what she and Cyd had thought would have been a good idea was maybe going to tear two people apart. She wasn't Jeff's biggest fan, but, a part of her melted at his concern for his wife.

'Cyd's taken her out for the evening.'

'Yeah I know that.' Jeff replied. 'My question is why?'

'Cyd still thinks that Dixie is lying to herself about who she really is. After their meeting a few days ago, she still felt she owed it to Dixie to help her out, just like Dixie helped Cyd out all those years ago.'

'None of us really know what is going on in her head Mel, I know Dixie inside out, and I cannot figure it out, what makes Cyd so sure?'

'A hunch I guess. Cyd is not convinced, and to be honest, neither am I that Dixie is in love with you romantically. Cyd is under the impression that if she gets Dixie back in an environment she is comfortable in, she will realise who she truly is.'

'You mean taking her to the local gay bar?'

'If that is what it takes, then yes.'

Jeff let out a sigh as he collapsed down onto the sofa opposite Mel. 'Does she think it will work?'

'I don't know, I was going to go as well, but then got called into work. Listen Jeff, you need to face up to the fact that your wife is and always will be a lesbian, you cannot change that. She just needs a helping hand to see that.'

'What do you mean a helping hand?'

'A push in the right direction.'

'Mel, what are you and Cyd going to do to my wife?'

Mel realised what she had just said, it was too late to back track. Looking over, she saw Jeff had sat up straight, eyes fixed on her. 'Mel, what do you mean?'

'Don't overreact, but, Dixie is going to be set up with a friend of ours; she will help her see who she really is.'

Mel sat back on the sofa, she wanted to grin at Jeff, but his face dropped even further as the statement sunk in. Mel was left feeling guilty. However, this seemed to be short lived. Her and Cyd were doing the right thing for Dixie, why should she feel guilty? Mel was pleased with what she and Cyd had planned for Dixie and even more pleased that there was absolutely nothing Jeff could do about it. Jeff, on the other hand, sat there dumbfounded by what he had just heard. Had Mel really said that? Have they set up my wife?

'How could you do something like that?' he blurted out through gritted teeth.

'She needs showing Jeff and you need to accept that.' Mel returned as she got up to leave.

'No, she needs leaving alone. I do not want you or Cyd anywhere near her ever again. Leave us two alone, got it?' Jeff snapped back at a pleased and cocky looking Mel before he stormed out of the staff room and the ED.

Sitting in the Peace Garden he replayed the conversation and revelation in his head. He was hit by a range of emotions, guilt, shock, uncertainty and longing. He didn't want Dixie being made a fool of, she deserved better than that. He knew she was confused, but he hoped she would get through it soon. They shared so much together, yeah, they had kissed, but when they hugged now they stayed in each other's arms for longer than usual. Jeff thought back over the last few weeks, they had become incredibly close; they hugged each other a lot more; she would hold his arm and even his hand while they walked down the road with the dog, or even when they were out shopping. He now felt hopeless, he couldn't go into the bar and get Dixie, and he couldn't do anything. It was that feeling that made him hurt more than ever before.


	17. Chapter 17

_**A / N – I wasn't really happy with the original chapter seventeen, so I have decided to improve on it. Hope this is better. xx**_

Dixie sat alone in the booth watching Cyd on the dance floor with Tanya. She sat there looking around at everyone dancing, drinking, hugging and kissing she suddenly felt really old and really out of place. For the first time, she didn't feel part of the Holby Gay Scene anymore. Taking a small sip of her drink she wondered what had changed for her. There was a time when she would relish being a part in all this, there was a time that she would happily go out, have a drink, snog a few women and think nothing of it. But, now things were different. She felt like she didn't belong here anymore. Had being married to Jeff changed her? All she knew was that she wanted to go home; she wanted to go home to Jeff.

Dixie began to play with her wedding ring that was on her finger she never usually wore it, but she had done tonight. Was she sending a message out that she was married and that she was no longer available? She didn't know. She was soon brought back from her thoughts as Tanya plonked herself down next to her hotly followed by Cyd.

"Whoa I have not danced like that for ages. You were really setting the pace Cyd. How does Mel keep up?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?" Cyd replied earning her a laugh from Tanya. "So Dix, you OK?"

"Yeah fine sweetheart." She replied taking another sip of her wine. Tanya motioned to Dixie's wedding finger with her head to Cyd who saw it straight away mouthing 'What now?' to Tanya who shrugged her shoulders. This was going to be harder than they thought.

"I had better get going Cyd. Me and Jeff are on an early shift tomorrow so I need to get some beauty sleep."

"You are beautiful as you are." Tanya returned moving in closer to Dixie placing her hand on the top of her leg. Dixie smiled and shifted in her seat unsure of what to do or say, this kind of made her feel uncomfortable although she didn't really know why.

"Thanks sweetheart you are kind. I really need to go now, so, I will see you later." Dixie said getting up and leaning over to give Cyd a hug. Turning towards Tanya she said "lovely to meet you Tanya."

"Pleasure alls mine Dixie Dixon" she said standing up moving in closer to Dixie, "I hope I see you again either in your uniform or nothing." She whispered the last bit in her ear causing Dixie to blush. Although the incredibly deep and full on kiss that Tanya gave her came out of nowhere.

Dixie stood there totally shocked that a woman she had only met for a few hours had just said she hoped to see her again (preferably naked) was now placing her lips onto hers and kissing her passionately. Dixie didn't know what to do. Her head and heart were conflicting yet again. When she kissed Jeff her head took over and told her to stop, this time her head said yes but her heart was screaming at her to stop. She really didn't know what to do but Tanya did not stop. Eventually though, it was Dixie, once more who broke the contact walking quickly out of the club and down the street.

Tanya turned to Cyd who was smiling at her. "Nice one. Hopefully that has done it. Thanks Tanya." Cyd said and she hugged her.

'Well, let's hope it has done something Cyd. She is clearly more conflicted than you and Mel first thought judging by the way she was fiddling with her wedding ring.'

'Yeah, I didn't even notice she had it on. Christ, does that mean she wants to be with Jeff, or does that mean she is still a lesbian? Tanya, what have we done? Have we made her realise who she really is?' Cyd was worried that they now may have had the reverse effect on Dixie. That feeling went away quickly enough as Tanya spoke up.

"With any luck judging by how quickly she left the club I think we have done it. I reckon she will be back for more soon. Bye bye husband and hello wife." Tanya replied raising her glass to Cyds as they both drank up.

Meanwhile Dixie had chosen to walk home. She needed to clear her head and sort out her feelings. Her feelings towards Jeff had changed considerably since they kissed but now she had been kissed by another woman. For the first time Dixie felt sick, the kiss with Tanya did not feel right, she realised that kissing another woman didn't feel right anymore. She had changed; Cyd had helped her see who she really was.

Flipping out her phone she sent Cyd a text:

_Hey. Thank you for tonight you have helped me in more ways than one. Dix xx_

Dixie felt that one of the weights had been lifted from her. She now knew and accepted she belonged with Jeff as his partner and wife. The question now remained - Does he feel the same? Dixie was certain he did, she knew him inside and out. Getting up from the park bench she continued her walk home back to her husband. She didn't know what lay ahead for her, well, for both of them, but she was certain it would be good. Who would have thought that a silly staff room stunt would have changed their lives? She didn't know the answer to that one, but as she walked the cool evening air hit her face as she rehearsed in her head once more what she would say to Jeff, what she would do. She wasn't worried how he would react, she was certain of his reaction. This made her happy, taking a deep breath, she walked up the path ramming her key into the lock, opening the door on a new chapter in her life.

_**A/N - I know still really fluffy. Next chapter will be the last,, thank you for all your reviews and support. **_


	18. Chapter 18

_**A / N - So, this is the last chapter of this fic. Thank you to everyone who has read and reviewed along the way. Hope you enjoy this chapter. **_

Dixie flung herself through the front door closing it behind her; she knew what she had to do and was ready to do it. What threw her was the silence as she stepped into the hall, no TV was blaring out, the dog wasn't barking, where was he? She walked into the front room, no he wasn't there. She went upstairs to his bedroom, he wasn't there either. Maybe he had taken the dog out for a walk; he would be back soon she thought to herself.

Dixie moved to sit on the bottom of the stairs watching the front door intently, she was nervous, so very nervous about what she was going to do, but she was determined to do it. She sat there for what seemed to be like an eternity fiddling with her wedding ring, running over what she was going to say and do again and again in her mind. She had promised herself that she was not going to back out; she was committed to this and to Jeff.

Butterflies fluttered around in her stomach as she heard his footsteps walk towards the door, the fluttering got even worse as his key turned in the lock, and it was now or never.

Jeff wasn't quite expecting Dixie to be home yet when he opened the front door, so was quite surprised to see her sat on the stairs. Lil Abs couldn't wait to get off his lead and run over to her, although he was slightly put out when all he got was a small pat before being ushered into the front room where he was shut in.

'Dix, you OK Princess?' Jeff asked as he watched her move the dog out of the way. 'Has something happened?' Concern was evident in his voice, she would always play with the dog, not shut him in a room. Something had to be going on something had to be wrong.

'I am absolutely fine Jeffrey.' She said smiling as she approached him.

Jeff looked at his wife unsure as to what was going on. He gave her an odd look, like she was mutating into an alien or something; this was starting to unnerve him.

'Dix, what is going on?'

He didn't get chance to finish what he was about to say as Dixie moved forward pulling him into a tight hug locking her lips onto his giving him a kiss. Jeff simply stood there not knowing what to do, a million thoughts raced through his head and heart, but he needed to be sure this was what she wanted. Breaking the contact he had with her, he stared down into her eyes.

'Are you sure Princess?'

'As sure as I will ever be Jeffrey.'

'Is this really what you want? You know I don't want you to do or be somebody you are not.'

'I know Jeffrey; believe me when I say I am not.'

'So what does this mean then?' Jeff knew the answer to that question even before he had asked it, but he needed to hear it from her.

'I guess it means that we have become a conventional married couple.'

Jeff didn't know how to respond to that. He had wanted her to say that for weeks, for months and she hadn't, but, now she had he couldn't stop the wide smile that formed on his face. Taking her firmly in his arms once more, he placed his lips onto hers returning the kiss she had given him a little while earlier. The kiss was soft, short and tender he didn't want to spoil anything or go too far.

'We go at your pace Princess' he said looking back down into her eyes. 'We do what you want and when you want.'

'Is that what you want though Jeffrey?' she asked, she had made a huge step, a big commitment; she didn't want him to feel like he was just having to settle if he wanted more.

Jeff held her tightly, nodding his head, he was true to his word, even though he wanted to rip her clothes off there and then, he didn't, if they were going to do this, she will set the pace they went. He recognised this was a big step, a big change for her so he really didn't want to spoil it, he wanted to relish every moment they would spend together.

'What do you want to do?' he asked her.

'Right now, I want to stay with you, I want to fall asleep in your arms.' Dixie responded taking him by the hand and leading him up the stairs to his bedroom where they lay in each other's arms.

Jeff lay there playing with Dixie's hair wondering whether or not to tell her about Mel and Cyd's plan. He didn't want it to spoil what they now had with each other, but, if their relationship was going to work, he needed to be honest with her.

'You know they were going to set you up tonight with someone don't you?'

'Aye.'

'I went to the hospital after you had gone to see Mel. I didn't trust her or Cyd Dix, I wanted to know if it was a genuine night out or if they were up to something.'

Dixie moved slightly so she was looking at Jeff as he spoke to her, she knew he cared about her and he had always said from the moment Cyd had arrived that he didn't trust her. Jeff took a deep breath before he continued:

'Mel said that they had set you up with a friend of theirs who was going to help you see who you really were. She said I was kidding myself that you would change to be with me. I couldn't do anything Dix, nothing at all.'

Dixie placed her fingers over his lips to stop him from saying anything else. 'Jeff, it's OK sweetheart. That would explain Tanya then.'

'Who is Tanya?'

'She must have been the friend they wanted to set me up with. She was a bit full on, told me she thought I was beautiful before kissing me.'

'She kissed you?'

'Yeah, it made my mind up for me I guess. It didn't feel right anymore, well, nothing has since we, well, you know, that day in the staffroom.'

'I know what you mean Princess; we have both been a bit stubborn haven't we?'

'We sure have Jeffrey, but we got there in the end.' Dixie responded smiling at him once more before leaning in for another kiss.

'So do I have her to thank for you coming home and planting a kiss on me then?' Jeff said mockingly earning him a light punch in the stomach from his wife who returned to laying on his chest.

'I wonder what the three of them would make of this now.' Dixie said, 'If they could see that their plan had a different outcome to what they were hoping.'

'Well Mrs Collier, I think it is time we had some fun with them don't you think?'

'What are you thinking Mr Collier?'

'Tell you what Babe, let's get some sleep and I will explain all in the morning.'

'Jeffrey, what are you up to?'

'Me? Nothing.'

'Yeah right, you couldn't be innocent even if you tried.'

'I will have you know I am perfectly innocent, it is you that has corrupted me Mrs Collier.'

Raising her head once more, Dixie lent in placing a kiss upon him before settling back down to sleep. This was the start of something new for the pair of them, neither knew what it would bring, but they hoped it would be happiness. As for Mel and Cyd, well, they were about to get what was coming to them twice fold.

The end.

_**A / N – Not an amazing ending, I didn't want to write too much about how they got their own back on the interfering Mel and Cyd, so I thought I would leave it for you to decide. **_

_**Thank you everyone for your reviews and continued support with this fic. **_


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